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Band 5.5

The rise in crime rate in many countries what are the solutions

#rise #crime #rate #countries
Nowadays, there has been a dramatic increase in the proportion of crime
that is
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 in several countries.
This
 essay will express the roots of
this
 issue and how
this
 problem can be overcome. There are numerous reasons that cause
this
 problem. One of those is that the cost of living is gradually growing every year
due to
 the inflation rate. To illustrate, if some
people
 can't afford their family living, which is about the cost of food, tuition or accommodation cost, it is difficult to boost
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the income for the whole family. They will tend to become a thief, even if they don't want to, but it has no choice. To address
this
 concern, the government should release some policies to help these
people
. They can do
this
 by providing
free charge
Add a hyphen
free-charge
show examples
 residential buildings for unemployed
people
 or donating some
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 to poor families. Another reason for
this
 issue is the rising number of unemployed workers.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that if workers can't make the stabilization in their monthly salary ,
moreover
 they
also
 have no job, it will increase
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 likelihood of
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 in robbery and many illegal jobs. To solve
this
 problem, the government should provide a job for these
people
. They can do
this
 by offering some public professions, like cleaning the roads, managing traffic, or some volunteer jobs,
for example
, and
reward
Wrong verb form
rewarding
show examples
 these
people
 with food or wages.
To conclude
, the main reason for
this
 concern is the lack of financial liquidity among individuals.
Submitted by krist_ar03 on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your main points with detailed and relevant examples to strengthen the argument. Expand on the solutions by adding how they can be implemented and consider potential challenges.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on having a logical flow between paragraphs and clear transitions. When introducing solutions, make sure they are directly linked to the problems discussed earlier.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion should not only summarize the essay but also make a final comment about the significance of your points or suggest a broader implication.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • enforcement
  • sentences
  • deterrence
  • proportional
  • rehabilitation
  • community engagement
  • intelligence-led policing
  • social services
  • transnational crime
  • trafficking
  • offenders
  • preventive measures
  • underlying issues
  • collaborate
What to do next:
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