IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

plastic shopping bags contribute to the pollution of air and sea. Some people think they should be banned. Do you agree or disagree ?

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Plastic
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 shopping
bags
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 have been long recognised as one of the causes of air and water pollution. Some individuals argue that they should be banned. I firmly agree with the prohibition of
plastic
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bags
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 and think that there should be alternatives to replace them.
To begin
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 with, rubber-made
bags
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 are accounted for harming our environment. In fact, a
big
Correct word choice
large
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 amount of those products are thrown into rivers and seas.
This
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 phenomenon can be seen in the rivers in Jakarta, in which plastics are the ones responsible for producing hazardous stuff in the seawater. Other than that, Jakarta has
also
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 been named as the second largest city which produces synthetic trash in the world.
This
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 instance shows the impact
plastic
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 shopping
bags
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 have
made
Verb problem
had
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 on our surroundings. As it is evident that
plastic
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 trading
bags
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 are polluting the ecosystem, banning should be executed, and measures should be taken.
First,
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limiting the use of plastics can be done by promoting some substitutions,
such
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 as
bags
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 made of fibre or other reusable carriages.
Second,
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stores and malls should not provide their customers with any
plastic
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bags
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. McDonald's in Indonesia,
for example
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, no longer uses
plastic
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bags
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 to wrap their food,
otherwise
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, they use paper
instead
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.
In other words
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, the government should set a policy and every person has a responsibility to enable
this
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 movement.
To sum up
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, people believe that
plastic
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bags
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 are pollutants.
Subsequently
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, they should not be used for shopping anymore.
Therefore
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, I suggest that those who still utilise
plastic
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bags
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 should start limiting their use of them and migrate to environmentally friendly equipment.

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coherence cohesion
Continue to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, ensuring logical transitions between points.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with a mix of general assertions and specific examples. Look for opportunities to provide more detailed instances or data to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure you cover all parts of the task, giving full development to your ideas and adequately addressing the prompt with a clear position throughout your response.
task achievement
Clarify and expound on your ideas where possible to provide a more comprehensive understanding of your perspective.
task achievement
Incorporate a greater variety of specific examples to illustrate your assertions. This could include statistics, case studies, or anecdotal evidence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ban
  • non-biodegradable
  • landfills
  • marine life
  • entanglement
  • ecosystem
  • sustainability
  • environmental impact
  • single-use
  • reusable
  • biodegradable
  • consumer habits
  • recycle
  • pollution
  • alternative solutions
  • legislation
  • waste management
  • environmentally friendly
  • toxic
  • decompose
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