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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the amounts of waste produced by three companies over a period of 15 years.

the graph below shows the amounts of waste produced by three companies over a period of 15 years.
#amounts #waste #three #companies #period #years
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The line graph compares how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
waste
Use synonyms
produced
Add a missing verb
was produced
show examples
 by three different companies in the period of 15 years.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 over the period of 15 years, the
waste
Use synonyms
 produced by
company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 kept increasing,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 A and
B
Use synonyms
 had been reducing their produced
waste
Use synonyms
. Looking at the information in more detail, in the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000,
company
Use synonyms
 A
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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produced the highest amount of
waste
Use synonyms
 (12
tons
Use synonyms
 in a
year
Use synonyms
), followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
company
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 (
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 9
tons
Use synonyms
 in a
year
Use synonyms
).
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
,
Use synonyms
company
Capitalize word
Company
show examples
C
Use synonyms
 produced the least
waste
Use synonyms
 (around 3
tons
Use synonyms
) that
year
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 2005,
Use synonyms
company
Capitalize word
Company
show examples
 A remained
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest producer of
waste
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 (around 11
tons
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
) even though there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a visible effort to decrease the number.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
B
Use synonyms
 and
C
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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produced more
waste
Use synonyms
amounted
Wrong verb form
amounting
show examples
 to 10
tons
Use synonyms
 and 6
tons
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, during the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2005 to 2015,
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 A and
B
Use synonyms
 had been taking some actions to reduce their
waste
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 resulted in visibly lower
waste
Use synonyms
 in both
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 A and
B
Use synonyms
, producing around 8
tons
Use synonyms
 and 3
tons
Use synonyms
 in a
year
Use synonyms
 respectively. Yet, the figure in
company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 steadily increased from time to time, resulting in around 9
tons
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
 produced in the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2015.
Submitted by skripsinana8 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words waste, company, c, b, year, tons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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