10/2 In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #first #child #development

Nowadays, the age of having the first kid for each family has increased,

Correct word choice

and more

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people are less willing to have kids

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their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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younger ages. Personally, I believe there are some factors

influence

Correct pronoun usage

that influence

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their opinions, the following content will outline

factors

Correct article usage

the factors

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and benefits of

this

trend.

Firstly

, because of economic

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

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such

financial

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the financial

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crisis, the younger generation is unable to afford childcare.

For example

, young workers need to spend more

time

to work

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working

show examples

, in order to earn the money to buy their own houses, pay their monthly bills and save money for future demand.

As a result

, without enough free

time

and financial ability, families' willingness

of having

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to have

show examples

children

would dramatically decrease. The mature attitude of having an intact family and sufficient financial support

are

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show examples

the most

benefits

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

this

trend. As growing older, young generations

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

realise the difficulty of having a child,

therefore

, they

would

Wrong verb form

will

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be well-prepared for the upcoming challenges.

Furthermore

, after several years in work fields, most young workers have been promoted or have

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apply

show examples

higher salaries, which means their socio-economic background can financially support them to raise their

children

Hence

, it becomes a proper

time

for them to give birth

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

babies. In conclusion, insufficient family income and economic pressure are the most crucial elements to influence people to have

children

. As young people have obtained more social experience and money, it turns into the most suitable

time

for having

the

Change the word

their

show examples

first kid. I firmly believe

this

is a positive trend for both parents and

children

Submitted by chaoweikevin on Fri Feb 09 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt fully. While you mentioned the reasons for older parenthood, you should also clearly discuss specific advantages and disadvantages. Incorporate relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop a more logical structure by organizing your main points clearly. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and conclude with a brief summary of the main points discussed.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve your coherence by connecting ideas and paragraphs smoother with the help of better transitions and cohesive devices. Each paragraph must lead naturally into the next.

Task Achievement

Support your main points with more relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Providing concrete examples helps to convey your ideas more effectively and makes your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Shift
Trend
Societal norms
Education and career
Financial stability
Reproductive technologies
Delayed marriages
Parenting responsibilities
Life expectancy
Family planning

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10/2 In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advatnages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

(QG) In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?