IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research , business and the academic world . Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

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Introduction
Information is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 important weapon to
acheive
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achieve
 glory and innovations in the
world
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. Some People
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that limited
data
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 should be shared in scientific , commercial and school places .
While
Linking Words
Body paragraph 1
other who opposes
this
Linking Words
 statement says that it
Body paragraph 2
is more important to distribute
Use synonyms
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 freely . In my opinion , it is
crusial
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crucial
 to spread
data
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 as much as possible in different areas of the
world
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.
Body paragraph 3
On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand ,
widely
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the wide
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 distribution of
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informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 is
Body paragraph 4
significant .when Proponents access towards more
Body paragraph 5
Knowledge
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With knowledge
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 and
data
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 they can tackle various problems and disasters .
For example
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 , In the
Covid - 19
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COVID-19
 era
due to
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 Scientific research and
variety
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a variety
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 of experiences inhabitants
was
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were
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 able to kill
this
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 virus by using vaccines all over the
world
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 .
Furthermore
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 , frequent
data
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 in
business
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the business
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 and academic
world
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 can explore enormous ideas and
also
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 boost the economy of
country
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the country
a country
show examples
.
Body paragraph 6
On the other hand
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 , there are some
Propoments
Correct your spelling
Proponents
 who
beleive
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believe
 to share specific
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informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 is more valuable.
Sometime
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Sometimes
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, absurd knowledge causes the destruction
in
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of
show examples
 society and
environment
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the environment
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 . To illustrate
this
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 view , People
acheive
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achieve
 commercial status
due to
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 hard work . If someone
release
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releases
show examples
 negative and irrelevant
data
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 it may harm business and will lead to
financial
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the financial
a financial
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 crisis .
Therefore
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 , Some People claim to spread limited
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informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
.
Conclusion
In
Summory
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summary
,
Although
Linking Words
 sensitive
Use synonyms
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 could be destructive
but
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apply
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it is more important to utilize and spread
Use synonyms
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 for the betterment of
nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, developed paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. Use paragraphing to separate ideas and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction and a summarising conclusion to bookend your essay effectively.
task achievement
Support each main point with specific and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your opinion is clear throughout the essay, especially in the introduction and conclusion.
general
Pay attention to spelling and grammar, as errors can distract from the content and reduce the clarity of the essay.
general
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate language flexibility and precision.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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