Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views.

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It is often thought that some people believe that money is a very important factor in achieving happiness.

However

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, some say that

such

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a mindset is not related to people’s emotions. In my opinion, I believe that wealth does affect our emotional state.

This

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essay will list the debatable statements of both sides.

To begin

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with, the argument supporting the statement is that the richer you are, the better your life will be. In fact, cash does give you plenty of privileges than those who have less.

For example

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, public transportation with better hygiene and accommodations will cost you

extra

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show examples

than the other regular public transport. Another example is,that a better hotel would

also

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offer more deals to those who can afford expensive rooms. The feeling when we can have things we want will affect our emotions, as it can increase our happiness level.

On the other hand

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, the contra of believing that wealth affects our emotions can turn us into an ungrateful person and hypnotize us into craving higher positions. Craving for more cash can make us forget about the other important aspects of life.

For instance

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, we can miss gatherings with our family only because we want to earn more. In conclusion,

although

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such

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a mindset has several lacks, I still believe that money does affect our feelings significantly. The privileges we can have when we’re stacked with bucks will allow us to explore things and learn new stuff.

Furthermore

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such

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activity can boost our happiness level.

helma.devinaFri Feb 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the logical structure flows smoothly from introduction to conclusion with clear, coherent transitions between paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Include both an introduction and a conclusion that effectively paraphrase the question and clearly state the position of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Develop main points with more detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments, which will add depth to the essay.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task, make sure to discuss both views in detail, and provide a balanced comparison.

task achievement

Express ideas more precisely and comprehensively, ensuring each paragraph has a central idea that is thoroughly elaborated upon.

task achievement

Use more relevant, specific examples that clearly support your arguments on both sides of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views.

Your opinion

In some countries, governments are encouraging businesses and industries to move to regional areas outside big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

The graph below showes the differences in wheat exports over three different areas