IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Students in school and university learn far more by lessons with their teachers compared to other sources(example: television and internet). Do you agree or disagree?

#students #school #university #lessons #teachers #sources #television #internet
As the world keeps moving making adaptation
innovation
Fix the agreement mistake
innovations
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
 the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
required
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to develop
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
. Some people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that
this
 is
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
opputunies
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to study harder than the sourace
while
 other opposes that should let students gain experience.
This
 essay will examine why I disagree with
this
 statement will be discussed. The initial reason is that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 do not have to
being
Change the verb
be
show examples
 stressed to study
unsignificant
Correct your spelling
insignificant
 chapters. It
can deny
Verb problem
cannot be denied
show examples
 that if the world is
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 big competition, experience
is
Verb problem
plays
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
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 essential role for
runner
Add an article
a runner
the runner
show examples
 to approach the goal. To clarify,
student's
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
 experience
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 being a part of society cannot provided
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the
eduacation
Correct your spelling
education
 system which the kids and teenagers can improve their social interaction and creativity.
Moreover
,
this
 allows the learner
thinking
Change the verb form
to think
show examples
 outside the box.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 reason is that the learner will not have enough time to spend with their family. Since the pupils do not understand
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
activities
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 allows them
must
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to study harder at home.
For instance
,
while
 it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 family time to watch television or
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
Add an article
the game
a game
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
, they have to miss the
oppunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 memorable moment.
Therefore
, the lesson might not be
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 kid's interest
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 might not be useful in the long term which means that it was wasting time. In conclusion, the reason why I disagree with pupils
should learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 harder than the textbook is that
stressed
Replace the word
stress
show examples
 allows kids
lost
Change the verb form
to lose
show examples
opputuntity
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality society.
Furthermore
, it creates
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 gap between the parents
dues
Replace the word
due
show examples
 to the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 that they spend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homework and
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
.
Submitted by sasathornterm on

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task achievement
To improve your score, ensure you address the essay topic directly and develop a clear argument throughout. Align your introduction and conclusion with the same perspective and avoid contradictions. Use more concrete and specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more coherent structure. Start by improving the logical flow between ideas, using topic sentences effectively, and creating clear paragraphs that progress your argument. Transition words and phrases should be used to link ideas and indicate the relationship between them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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