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Band 4.5

Some people say showing program such as Olympics, cricket on television is the best way to encourage adults to do exercise. Some say that there are some other ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #program #olympics #cricket #television #adults #exercise #say
Watching sports competitions
such
 as football championships, Olympics, and cricket on television is a perfect method to fuel the aspiration of the new generation to practice harder, or seek other ways to do so. It has been a matter of discussion among folks. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate on both theories with relevant examples. To commence with, the voices who claim that presenting
such
 programs would have a significant impact on
adults
Change noun form
adults'
adult's
show examples
 imagination and push them to keep
practcing
Correct your spelling
practising
 harder. They are convinced that creating ideal models and perfect examples for
adults
 will make them dream
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 like their heroes in the future.
For instance
, many champions who won medals and competitions,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned that in their childhood they were dreaming
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 like their dream heroes,
hence
, it is of paramount importance to motivate them with these materials
such
 as programs about the journey of success of their idols.
On the other hand
, some do not prefer the way
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned above, they would rather
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
seek other effective ways
such
 as teaching
yongersters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 the role of
exercise
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and arranging local campaigns
such
 as
marthons
Correct your spelling
marathons
 or races.
Although
 some would think that these methods are outdated, They argue that these are still active,
for instance
, when someone wins in these
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local competitions, it would be a great example for others to
exercise
 more to win the next time,
Additionally
, opening clubs for public for free or at cheap prices would attract
adults
 to
exercise
 there.
To sum up
, despite the fact that watching programs would have an impact on
adults
'
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 to
exercise
, I do believe that if they have the opportunity to
exercise
 it will keep them motivated in the long term.
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

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structure
Make sure the introduction includes a thesis statement that clearly states your opinion.
coherence
Use a range of cohesive devices to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
development
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is fully developed with further explanation and specific examples.
task response
Expand your position by discussing implications or recommending action, particularly in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Televised sports
  • Fitness levels
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Community fitness programs
  • Infrastructure
  • Workplace wellness
  • Fitness apps
  • Wearable tech
  • Peer pressure
  • Group activities
  • Health campaigns
  • Educational programs
  • Multifaceted approach
  • Emulation
  • Motivation
  • Awareness
  • Admiration
  • Passive watching
  • Active participation
What to do next:
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