Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extant do you agree or disagree with this view?

In
this
era, extreme
sports
are more popular than past,
therefore
many claim that some of them like skiing and
sky
diving are dangerous and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be banned by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. From my point of view,
although
this
sport
might be dangerous or lead to
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
of athletes, they should not be banned because they have some positive effects on mental and physical
health
. As it is observed, extreme
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
like
sky diving
Correct your spelling
skydiving
show examples
and skiing can lead
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
to have a good state of mental and physical
health
or even obtain some championships .On the one hand,
sport
has a pivotal role in mental
health
. As scientists
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
body
release
Correct subject-verb agreement
releases
show examples
adrenaline and testosterone by doing
sports
which
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are the causes of happiness , confidence and
hopeness
Correct your spelling
hope
. All
this feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
these feelings
show examples
impact aspects of daily routine like doing
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
job, reduction of stress and more concentrate on work. On the other,
sports
are effective for physical
health
.
By
Change preposition
Through
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vigorous
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
exercises
Add a comma
exercises,
show examples
people
can have a better shape of
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
and it will prevent their bodies from weaknesses in old
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
. If
people
obey some protection, they will not be injured ,and
in contrast
, they will enjoy a lot.
For example
, using
hamlet
Capitalize word
Hamlet
show examples
, good equipment and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
a coach to teach them.
By
Change preposition
Through
show examples
patient
Replace the word
patience
show examples
and struggle they can be professional in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extreme
sports
which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
them to blossom
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
talents. They might be a good athlete which
gain
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gains
show examples
high places
between
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among
show examples
international
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
that will gain championships in numerous competitions.
However
, many
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
are dangerous . We witnessed many
people
were
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
injured by doing these
sports
,or they have gone. First of all, we should consider some factors which lead them to injection or death. They might be an amateur and do these
sports
without any knowledge.
In addition
, some natural
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
might
be happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
like snowing heavily that skier will get
stock
Correct your spelling
stuck
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
them and
by freezing
Wrong verb form
freeze
show examples
their body they will die, or massive winds in
sky
diving which
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
their control. Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
in skiing
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
broken their
arm
Fix the agreement mistake
arms
show examples
, legs,
Correct word choice
and head
show examples
head
Fix the agreement mistake
heads
show examples
.
Some times
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
they go to places
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
have deep valleys and they fall into them. The
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may their parachutes will not open in
sky
diving. In conclusion,
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
presence of high demand for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extreme
sports
like skiing and
sky diving
Correct your spelling
skydiving
show examples
, the government should not
banned
Change the verb form
ban
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
sports
.
Instead
of that, they can provide
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
safe places and safe equipment which protect athletes from dangerous situations.
Submitted by dayansabet on

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Introduction
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Logical Structure
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Specific Examples
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Conclusion
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Idea Development
Ensure a balanced discussion of the essay question and seek to develop each point adequately for the reader to understand your stance without ambiguity.

Word Count

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A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adrenaline rush
  • risk threshold
  • thrill-seeking
  • safety protocols
  • hazard assessment
  • adventure tourism
  • regulatory framework
  • personal autonomy
  • informed consent
  • risk mitigation strategies
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • protective gear
  • extreme athleticism
  • freedom of choice
  • accident prevalence
  • emergency response
  • courage and resilience
  • endorphin release
  • legal implications
  • peer pressure effects
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