Nowadays, anyone can post information on the internet even if it is incorrect. As a result, most of the information we read is accurate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The amount of online
information
has been significantly increasing in recent years, due to
the fact that anyone can add data
online without any confirmation. It can be easily stated that this
uncontrolled process may result in a lot of inaccurate data
on the net.
One of the reason
why much Change to a plural noun
reasons
data
online is not true is the loading process. Since almost every individual irrespective of their educational backgrounds
is allowed to load Fix the agreement mistake
background
information
online, the knowledge that they loaded may not reflect the reality since
their lack of Change preposition
due to
information
. For instance
, today a teenage
may create a blog about cars and he can write about cars, Replace the word
teenager
engines
for hundreds of pages, and he is able to post these pages even if they Correct word choice
and engines
do
not accurate. Verb problem
are
Moreover
, a kid who wants to search about vehicle
may read these pages, and can easily accept that Correct article usage
a vehicle
data
as correct information
. In this
way the
inaccurate Correct article usage
apply
data
tends to spread fastly across the world. In comparison with an
approach of printing a book, which requires several verifications from types of different experts, including an editor and a linguist, writing a blog Correct article usage
the
do
not require any confirmations, and Correct subject-verb agreement
does
as a result
, some inaccurate data
may spread.
On the other hand
, some companies may share inaccurate information
in order to raise their profit. To clarify, there are several organizations, like drug companies tend to exposure
individuals with some wrong Replace the word
expose
data
to increase their income. For example
, there are numerous articles online, which highlight the importance of using vitamins or other supplements and also
many of them are funded by drug companies. Many of them are accepted as a valuable source of information
, meanwhile
many of them are rejected by scientists. But as long as these articles Add a comma
meanwhile,
share
online, men and women will be distracted by inaccurate Wrong verb form
are shared
data
. Unfortunately, these skewed articles may result in adverse consequences and even fatalities. There are more than a hundred cases in the USA, which inform about people, who suffer from liver troubles in wake
of using supplements.
Correct article usage
the wake
To conclude
, when all these factors are taken into account, these day
a large amount of wrong Change the determiner
this day
these days
information
has been sharing
online. Wrong verb form
shared
This
procees
is driven by either Correct your spelling
process
lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
information
of a young adult or a
desire of a company Correct article usage
the
for making
more profit. In order to protect people from Change preposition
to make
inaccuarete
and Correct your spelling
inaccurate
also
skewed information
, loading
Correct article usage
the loading
data
process should be monitored by experts.Submitted by ilaydailday on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure that your essay has a clear introduction with a thesis statement, coherent main body paragraphs, and a conclusive summary that reiterates your central argument. Your logical structure is adequate, but it can be improved for better clarity and effect.
task achievement
While your introduction and conclusion are present and you have a complete response to the task, you could enhance your essay by developing your ideas more fully and including more clear and comprehensive explanations. Aim for fully fleshed-out points that offer deeper insights into the issue.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly, and ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that signals what the paragraph will discuss. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. While you did provide some examples, elaborating on these with more details or statistics can significantly strengthen your argument and illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Review your work for grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be refined for better readability and communication of your ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?