Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

#artists #salaries #government #work

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Nowadays, when our society is in the stage of rapid transformation,

art

exhibitions become less popular ,

therefore

their creators receive low salaries. It is agreed, that the government should provide

artists

with a higher financial budget and make society more educated in

this

field.

This

essay,

firstly

,will discuss why a lot of

artists

suffer from poverty,followed by an analysis of actions which can be approved to overcome

this

problem.

To begin

with, humanity loses interest in museums,historical monuments and even modern

art

due to

the accessibility to the Internet,where each piece of information can be found easily.

In addition

, children in schools are deprived of the ability to attend classes which are specialized in

this

field.

Moreover

, even if these lessons exist, they will be optional, and unfortunately,

this

is the main cause of the lack of

artists

Nevertheless

, we have some people who try to save and popularize their knowledge about

art

however

due to

the lack of interest , they receive low salaries and lose their desire to work. If the government did not take some measures,

this

issue would contribute to the death of the historical heritage of

art

Conversely

, the government should change it by encouraging people to visit

art

exhibitions.

Furthermore

artists

should be sponsored by the administration ,

therefore

they will continue to do their work. It will attract more tourists,so both the economy and

artists

will receive income.

Also

, it would be better to provide school lessons and some excursions for scholars.

For example

, when children had a topic about modern

art

, they would visit a museum which contain some works, and their parents would have the ability to donate some money to

artists

To conclude

this

essay agrees with the idea that

art

is in danger

due to

the low salaries of

artists

however

, there are some steps which should be taken to provide prosperity for

this

field

Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on Fri Feb 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas are organized in a logical manner with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a main idea, supported by further explanation, examples or arguments. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth, signaling the relationship between ideas. Avoid abrupt shifts in topic and strive for a natural flow of information.

task achievement

In terms of task achievement, make sure to address all parts of the prompt fully. Develop your main points with sufficient detail and back them up with relevant examples or evidence. Expand on your arguments more comprehensively to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Be careful not to stray from the question, and remember to answer 'to what extent' you agree with the statement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some experts are concerned that people in modern society change their electronic devices when not necessary. Why is this phenomenon occurring? Explain if this has a positive or negative effect on society.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

University education should be free ro everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?