IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Overpopulation is the world's most serious environmental problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The number of humans in the
world
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 has increased substantially over the years, slowly but steadily turning into a massive environmental catastrophe. It is my own contention that
although
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 the excess population is one of the most concerning issues in the contemporary
world
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 alongside others like plastic waste and carbon emissions. First and foremost, there are over 8 billion humans inhabiting the distinctive geolocations of the
world
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. Statistically, human-caused activities are placed at the most impactful factors that pollute our
environment
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. To illustrate, overpopulation drives companies to stick to burning fossil fuels so that they can keep up with the ever-rising energy demand,
therefore
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, releasing poisonous carbon gasses into the upper atmosphere, and expediting the greenhouse effect all over the
world
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. To cite an example, independent air measurements depict an alarming rate of upward movement in the volume of those gasses in the
environment
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, posing a formidable threat to humanity.
As a consequence
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, it becomes extremely challenging to find a drinkable source of water owing to the deforestation and extravagance utilization of
this
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 finite resource.
Moreover
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, countries with the most population are the ones that undergo the most serious implications. A correlation factor between the number of people and damage to the
environment
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 illustrates a positive trend, where a higher number indicates more damage caused to the
environment
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.
For example
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, overpopulation is a chief culprit behind the uncontrolled expansionism of urban cities,
thus
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, deliberately causing existing flora and fauna to disappear. In conclusion, crowdedness is indeed the leading cause of environmental problems that we encounter today since all other factors are either inferior or originated from it.

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Coherence & Cohesion
It is essential to have a clear structure in your essay; make sure to include an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should contain one central idea and be followed by supporting explanations or examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more cohesively. Avoid repetition of words and use synonyms to enhance your lexical resource.
Task Achievement
Make sure you answer the question directly and maintain a clear position throughout the essay. All parts of the task should be addressed with well-developed arguments.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. These examples can be drawn from your knowledge or experience and should be relevant and convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exacerbating
  • finite resources
  • environmental degradation
  • biodiversity
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable consumption
  • habitat loss
  • family planning
  • renewable energy
  • technological advancements
  • resource management
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