IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers, should be required to wok in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Disccuss both of these views and give your opinion

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #wok #country #work #disccuss
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While
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 some individuals think that certain types of professionals should stay and
work
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 in the places where they became educated, others believe that there is no necessity for
this
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 and
laters
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
 should have a kind of freedom in
chosing
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choosing
 the place of their future
work
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. In my way of thinking, both opinions could be true under certain circumstances. In
this
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 essay, I am going to explain my point of view and bring a number of examples to illustrate. On the one hand, the most crucial negative prospect I would like to point out is the so-called brain drain. Needless to say, if all
persons
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people
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, educated in their native
country
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, leave it for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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seeking
the
Correct article usage
apply
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luck in other places, the initial
country
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 would suffer a huge loss in experts and funds it has spent for the
maintaing
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maintaining
 studying processes.
Hence
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, I wholeheartedly believe, the students should stay and
work
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 in the
country
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 that gave them their education. Another not less essential prospect
,
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apply
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 is the way a student became educated.
For example
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, in my
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country
Add a comma
country,
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 there is a strategy
according to
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 which a number of provinces may be interested
in particular
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type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of proficients. For
this
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 purpose, the province announces about kind of needed experts and the required number of them, and even
allocate
Correct subject-verb agreement
allocates
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 amounts for these. Obviously, in
such
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 situations, it is mandatory for the students to
work
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 in the province.
On the other hand
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, every person should have the freedom to choose the place where he wants to
work
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 and apply the acquired knowledge.
For instance
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, if the student graduated
a
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from a
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university and became a specialist in marine science, but the
country
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 has no sea, the only way for him to find an appropriate
work
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 is to find it in the
country
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 that has a sea. I do not see any reason to forbid
this
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 behaviour. In conclusion, mostly I agree with the statement that educated in some
country
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 persons should have an intention to
work
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 in
this
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 place.
On the contrary
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, under some circumstances, it is better to leave for
working
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work
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 in
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
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. At least, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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should not be forbidden.
Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that both views and your own opinion are discussed fully and developed with reasons and examples to support them.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use a variety of cohesive devices and appropriate paragraphing.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your viewpoints. These will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use a range of linking words and phrases to clearly show the relationship between ideas, but be careful with their accuracy and avoid overusing them.
Coherence and Cohesion
Double-check your work for possible grammatical errors and sentence structure to increase the clarity and accuracy of your essay.
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