IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, university students live away from home and in another city while studying. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of living in another city?

There is no denying the fact that studying in a different
city
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 plays a crucial role in shaping learners’ futures.
While
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 some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits, I completely disagree. In my opinion, living away from one’s hometown offers numerous advantages,
such
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 as stepping out of the comfort zone, learning new skills, and building relationships in diverse environments.
Firstly
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, acquiring life skills in another
city
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 is essential for
students
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' personal development. Broadening the mind through exposure to different cultures fosters creativity and mental flexibility.
Although
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 it may be difficult at
first,
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students
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 who live away often gain valuable independence and eventually return home more capable of contributing to their families and communities. There are many benefits to studying in another
city
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. Exposure to new academic environments can significantly enhance
students
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’ intellectual and professional growth.
For instance
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, in many countries, ministries of
education
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 send
students
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 to larger cities to study science and promote personal growth. These experiences help them develop essential life skills.
Furthermore
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,
students
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 who live alone or with peers in new cities often become more self-reliant and resourceful.
Education
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 has become more recognized as a key driver of progress, especially in recent years. A study conducted by Oxford University found that 90% of student leaders attributed their nation’s business success to investment in
education
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. In conclusion, despite differing opinions, I firmly believe that the advantages of living in another
city
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 far outweigh the disadvantages.
Education
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 should be a global priority as it is a foundation for future development and prosperity

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea. Connect your ideas with clear linking words.
task achievement
Include specific examples for each point to strengthen your argument. Some ideas could use more detail.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good structure with clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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