IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Should Newspaper not publish personal life of Politicians. DO you agree or disagree.

#newspaper #life #politicians
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Everyone has secrets nowadays
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they
tried
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to hide from society. A number of our community is like to gossip regarding
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
 personality. I totally disagree with the trend of spreading private information of
administratives
Correct your spelling
administrators
 to the journal. Not only because it identifies the crisis and
inlarger
Correct your spelling
increases
 the rate of insecurity
also
mix
Correct subject-verb agreement
mixes
show examples
 up
peace
Add an article
the peace
a peace
show examples
 of other's.
Firstly
, some topics are not to be disclosed by leaders. As they don't like to
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 dinner table
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
 so, they
tried
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to put in
hiding
Add an article
a hiding
the hiding
show examples
 place their misdeeds.
Moreover
 , frequently they have to face disaster
due to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
healines
Correct your spelling
headlines
 of tv.
For instance
,
BBC
Correct article usage
a BBC
show examples
 News survey proved that 40%
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
individuals
Change the noun form
individual
show examples
 blunders are reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
downfall
Correct article usage
the downfall
show examples
 of government servants. Secondarily,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of people are influenced by public figures. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that,how hard their life is
humas
Correct your spelling
humans
 are seeking for
ideal's
Change noun form
ideal
show examples
 lifestyle.
Additionally
,
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
 number of
men's
Change noun form
men
show examples
 and
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
misguided themselves because of the publicity of
boardsheets
Correct your spelling
broadsheets
board sheets
.
Refer to
Verb problem
The
show examples
, online poll outcome disclosed that 50% of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 is unpleased
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 what they have . In the end,
self space
Add a hyphen
self-space
show examples
 is the right of each and every citizen.
However
, few
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
magazine
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
show examples
publish
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
recognized
recoginized
Correct your spelling
recognise
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 profile status just because of money.
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 caring
no
Change preposition
about no
show examples
 one's emotions
To sum up
, I disbelief
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the fact
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
revel
Verb problem
revealing
show examples
 life stories
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
polictical
Correct your spelling
political
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
.
Submitted by vkinza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, it's crucial to organize ideas more logically and use a clearer progression throughout the essay. Consider using stronger topic sentences and more effective transitions between paragraphs. Additionally, work on sentence structures and make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure that the response completely addresses all parts of the task with a clear position throughout. Elaborate on your ideas more fully and provide more detailed, relevant examples to support the arguments presented. Also, aim to express a complete range of ideas directly related to the task without veering off-topic.
General Advice
To continue improving, work on grammar and vocabulary. Be mindful of grammatical errors and usage of appropriate vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. Practical exercises in paraphrasing and using a variety of sentence structures can be beneficial. Consider reading high-quality English texts to see examples of well-structured writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: