•Task 2: In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#•task #countries #people #work #move #families #friends #development

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In modern society, it is quite common for a person to part with his or her family and friends in search of employment. Despite contrary ideas, it is my belief that the benefits

such

departures bring about are more noticeable.

To begin

with, it cannot be denied that there are certain drawbacks that leaving families and friends behind may present.

Firstly

this

can be detrimental to the relationships between family members, which is especially true in the case of

parents

forced to leave their children behind to find work

elsewhere

. These children will grow up without the loving hands of their

parents

, so it is easy to see that they may see their

parents

as nothing more than strangers.

Moreover

, as to the leavers, they may suffer emotionally.

That is

, they may experience a period of loneliness and homesickness when first having to part ways with almost everything they know and start a new life.

However

, these consequences may not be as serious as they sound. As communication technology develops, it is now easy for people between great distances to see each other’s faces, and hear each other’s loving words by means of social networking or video calling. Though they may not completely replace actual face-to-face interaction, they may do wonders for connecting

parents

and children

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or alleviating one’s solitude.

Furthermore

, upon leaving home, apart from the possibility of a well-paid job, one, especially young people, may achieve a sense of independence.

This

is because they will have first-hand experience in dealing with all sorts of problems, from work to everyday life, without guidance and protection from their loved ones. In conclusion, it can be seen that

although

moving away from family to seek employment may present certain difficulties, I hold my belief that these can easily be eclipsed by the advantages.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea coherently. This will enhance the overall flow of your essay.

task achievement

For an even more compelling task response, consider providing some concrete examples or statistics to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Your introductory and concluding paragraphs are strong and clearly state and restate your main argument, which creates a strong overall structure.

task achievement

You have a well-rounded argument with both advantages and disadvantages discussed, which demonstrates a balanced perspective.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, making it easy for the reader to understand your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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•Task 2: In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, people are now living longer than before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the cases?Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?