Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the country side. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve the situation ?
Young adults are migrating to cities, leaving behind the older generation in the suburbs.
This
phenomenon will cause the countryside
to be depleted in human resources and become underdeveloped. To address this
predicament the government has to incentivize companies to open competitive job vacancies in the countryside
.
The urbanization of the young generation will deplete the population of the productive age group in the suburban areas
. The lack of productive resources inflicts a slowdown in the countryside
’s development. Young people usually are the ones who initiate and drive the changes, when they are no longer there, the remaining will face difficulty to continue developing the areas
. Moreover
, underdeveloped areas
usually have insufficient public facilities. The residents will have to travel to the nearby town which adds up to another problem for elderly people. For example
, people in Maninda must travel around three hours before reaching a hospital in Makassar, due to
lack of infrastructure.
To tackle these issues, the authorities should be involved in forcing the employers to provide competitive paying jobs in the countryside
. This
measure is the most viable way to keep the younger generation from moving out to the cities. If there are lucrative vacancies in their hometown, they will consider staying and working there without having to migrate. Thus
, they can also
participate in developing their hometown and enhancing the communities. For instance
, many factories open up positions for locals in Gunung Kidul. Young adults have various job options and competitive salaries. Most of them choose to stay and develop the communities.
In conclusion, the countryside
is losing its young population owing to urbanization and leaving the older age group behind. This
situation causes the areas
to lose their productive residents and hinders development. In order to answer these emerging problems, the municipality has to take part in providing jobs to keep the young residents from migrating.Submitted by intanannisa.ia on
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coherence cohesion
Try to make sure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that this point is elaborated upon with further explanation, detail or examples. Ensuring each paragraph contributes clearly to the overall argument or discussion of the essay will enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Consider a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more fluidly. Over-reliance on basic connectors such as 'moreover' and 'for example' can be remedied with more sophisticated coherence devices.
task achievement
Although your response is complete, continue to ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed equally. While you discuss the problems caused by the issue in some detail, you may want to expand on specific solutions by discussing their implementation and potential impact.
task achievement
Use a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly convey ideas and engage the reader. Varied language use can also enhance the clarity of your argument, making your points more persuasive.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of specific examples to support your arguments, ensuring that they are relevant and illustrative of the point being made.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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