Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and new events. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, when the growth of technology increases significantly people can stay connected with others and
also
stay abreast of current events. In my point of view, I believe the implications outweigh the advantages.
Admittedly, there are notable disadvantages when it comes to using social publishing. Privacy concerns are a major issue, as users often share sensitive information that can be vulnerable to data breaches. For example
, Vulnerable groups like children, women and the crowd from LGBTQI++ face continuous backlash and are unaware that some users are using them for pornographic content. Furthermore
, the mental health impacts of social use are another serious concern, especially in the young generation. This
is because of the increasing anxiety, and depression when they use social news for a long time.
Despite the above-mentioned issue, the advantages of social media are more significant. To begin
with, social platforms facilitate instant communication, remaining physical barriers. Another merit worth mentioning is that social media acts as a vital commit
for disseminating real-time news. Replace the word
commitment
For instance
, we use these technologies automation to know about sports, and what's happening around the world for instance
issues like climate change, politics, and economics, and further
helps to enhance our knowledge. During emergencies platforms like Instagram and Facebook have prevented essential for spreading information quickly.
In conclusion, while
networking platforms prevent risks concerning privacy and mental health, their benefits in promoting connectivity and information dissemination are profound. Therefore
, it is stupid to focus on an unrealistic lifestyle and ignore the significance of real-life communication because socializing in person could possibly improve your confidence and increase your self-esteem as well.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score, aim to use more specific and well-explained examples to support your points. Specific examples can make your arguments more compelling and easier to follow.
task achievement
Ensure that all your points are fully developed and clearly linked to the overall question. For instance, clarify how each disadvantage and advantage directly impacts the use of social media.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow by ensuring each paragraph builds on the previous one. This can be achieved through smoother transitions and appropriately linking phrases.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent in your argument. The introduction states that implications outweigh the advantages, but your conclusion suggests that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-organized and each has a clear central idea, followed by supporting sentences. Group related ideas together for better cohesion.
introduction conclusion
Good introduction and conclusion which frame the essay well. Maintaining these helps in presenting a well-rounded view.
task achievement
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages, showing an understanding of multiple aspects of the topic. This is crucial for achieving a high score in task achievement.
logical structure
Your essay structure is clear with distinct paragraphs for different points, aiding readability and understanding.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.