Many manufactured food and drinks product contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary product should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drinks #product #level #sugars #health #people #sugar

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Since sugary food items and drinks can lead to many health issues and cause serious harm to people consuming them, many recommend that they should be harder to obtain by making them expensive. I completely agree with

this

opinion and think that it would help promote public health. First of all, I believe that sugar can become an addiction because of how much it feels good when it is eaten, which is an obstacle not to

buy

Wrong verb form

buying

show examples

it. So, it would be a good idea to make it more expensive in order to make it harder to obtain. And since money is essential to survival and good living, that way people will think twice before they buy any sugary product.

For example

, when a person is getting a monthly salary, and he or she spends a monthly amount of money to buy manufactured sugary food and drinks, they will reconsider it when they become more expensive.

That is

why I think that sugary

products

should become harder to obtain.

Secondly

, having these sugary

products

cheap and easy to obtain would make them obtainable to everyone including children.

For instance

, a kid would get a very limited amount of money as outgoings, and when these

products

that contain high levels of sugar are easy to get, they would buy them and eat them irresponsibly, without realizing their danger to it.

Thus

, the advantages of making sugary foods and drinks overpriced are more than keeping them cheap.

To conclude

, I strongly believe that making sugary

products

costlier is more beneficial than keeping them obtainable at a cheap price.

Submitted by maliksheetal32 on Tue Apr 16 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Be mindful of connecting ideas more smoothly to enhance flow. Transition phrases can help weave your paragraphs together more cohesively.

Task Achievement

Including a wider range of specific examples and data to support your argument can enrich your response and add depth to your discussion.

Language

Watch out for minor grammatical errors and aim for sentence variety to elevate your writing style.

Task Response

Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear stance throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The logical structure of your argument is commendable, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Task Achievement

You utilized relevant examples to support your main points, which helped to solidify your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Many manufactured food and drinks product contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary product should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many people argue that free public transportation should be available in most major cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea?

Communication through text messaging and other instant forms of online communication are short and basic. Some people think this will be death of grammar and spelling. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is better to have the same job throughout their life, while others think that people should change their job after some period of time. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them ?