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Writing Samples
Band 7

Now many physical retail stores (such as clothing stores) are being replaced by online shops. Is this a positive or negative development?

#stores #shops #development
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In contemporary times, a noticeable trend is the transformation of numerous physical retail
stores
 into online platforms.
While
 some argue vehemently in favour of the tangible shopping experience, I contend that online shops offer unparalleled advantages in terms of
convenience
 and affordability. Proponents of brick-and-mortar
stores
 often emphasize the opportunity for customers to physically inspect products before purchasing. By visiting these establishments, customers can ensure that colours, textures, and sizes align precisely with their preferences.
Additionally
, the opportunity to engage with knowledgeable staff members can provide valuable insights into the suitability of selected items.
Thus
, patrons are afforded a more meticulous selection process.
However
, the merits of online shopping are compelling, particularly in terms of affordability. Online retailers circumvent the need for costly physical spaces, thereby reducing overhead expenses related to employees, rent, and utilities.
Consequently
, these savings can be passed on to consumers, resulting in more competitive pricing for products.
Furthermore
, the accessibility of online
stores
 transcends geographical boundaries; customers can effortlessly browse and purchase items from anywhere in the world with just a few clicks.
For example
, even when travelling abroad, individuals can seamlessly acquire their preferred clothing brands at their
convenience
.
Therefore
, online shopping offers unparalleled
convenience
 and cost-effectiveness. In conclusion,
while
 acknowledging the advantages of physical retail
stores
 in facilitating hands-on product assessment, I firmly advocate for the superiority of online shopping
due to
 its affordability and accessibility.
This
 shift towards online commerce represents a positive evolution in the retail landscape, offering consumers greater
convenience
 and economic benefits.
Submitted by artical5er7 on

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task achievement
Ensure that you provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to establish your position unequivocally for the reader.
task achievement
Work on expanding your points with specific, detailed examples to illustrate and support your arguments. The inclusion of more real-world examples or statistics would enhance the impact of your examples.
coherence and cohesion
Strive for a logical flow of ideas, making sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be improved by using a range of cohesive devices and ensuring that each main point is elaborated upon before moving to the next.
coherence and cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and structured correctly, consider rephrasing them to make your arguments more assertive and compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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