While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

INCREASES IN THE NUMBER OF
PEOPLE
WHO
PREFFER
Correct your spelling
PREFER
TO GO
Change preposition
TO UNIVERSTIES
show examples
UNIVERSTIES
Correct your spelling
UNIVERSITIES
FOR ACADEMIC STUDY CAUSE
DECLINE
Correct article usage
A DECLINE
show examples
OF
Change preposition
IN
show examples
QUALIFIED WORKERS WHICH ARE ELECTRIANS AND PLUMBERS. IN MY OPINION,
PEOPLE
SHOULD NOT
FORCE
Wrong verb form
BE FORCED
show examples
TO TEND
QUALIFIED
Change preposition
TO QUALIFIED
show examples
WORKS
,
INSTEAD
OF
Change preposition
apply
show examples
THAT
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, THEY SHOULD TEND TO
PEOPLE
WHO
CANNOT
Verb problem
CAN
show examples
PASS THE ACADEMIC STUDY EXAM AND SHOULD BE DIRECTED TO THESE JOBS,
BECUASE
Correct your spelling
BECAUSE
IT BOTH DECREASE THE RATE OF
UNEMPLOYEMENT
Correct your spelling
UNEMPLOYMENT
EMPLOYMENT
AND
RISES
Correct your spelling
RAISES
show examples
THE NUMBER OF QUALIFIED WORKERS. FIRST AND FOREMOST, I COMPLETELY DISAGREE
ABOUT
Change preposition
THAT
show examples
PEOPLE
SHOULD BE FORCED
FOR CHOOSING
Change preposition
TO CHOOSE
show examples
THE QUALIFIED
WORKS
Fix the agreement mistake
WORK
show examples
.
THAT IS
BECAUSE UNENTHUSIASTIC JOBS CAN CAUSE SOME DANGEROUS ISSUES.
ACCORDING TO
THE RESEARCH FROM CITIZENS OF BELGIUM, THEY INFORM THAT ELECTRICIANS WHO DO NOT WANT TO WORK IN
THIS
JOB DO NOT CARE ABOUT
PEOPLE'
Change noun form
PEOPLE'S
show examples
LIVES AND
EXHIBITED
Wrong verb form
EXHIBIT
show examples
AWFUL
WORKS
Fix the agreement mistake
WORK
show examples
IN FRONT OF
PEOPLE
. NAMELY, BECAUSE
OF
Change preposition
apply
show examples
RELUCTANT WORKERS WHO
FRIGHTENED
Add a missing verb
ARE FRIGHTENED
show examples
OR FORCED
FOR CHOOSING
Change preposition
TO CHOOSE
show examples
THIS
JOB, DO NOT OBEY THE RULES AND REVEAL MEANINGLESS
WORKS
Fix the agreement mistake
WORK
show examples
FOR INDIVIDUALS.
FURTHERMORE
, THE BEST WAY FOR SOLVING
THIS
PROBLEM CAN BE ACADEMIC EXAM FOR UNIVERSITY. IN SPECIFIC,
PEOPLE
Change preposition
FOR PEOPLE
show examples
WHO CANNOT PASS THE EXAM, GOVERNMENTS SHOULD ASK THEIR
THINKINGS
Replace the word
THOUGHTS
show examples
ABOUT WORKING AS ELECTRICIANS OR PLUMBERS;
FOR INSTANCE
, IF STUDENTS ACCEPT TO DO VOCATIONAL TRAINING, THE NUMBER OF
UNEMPLOYMENT
Replace the word
UNEMPLOYED
show examples
WOULD BE DIVE AND
PEO[PLE
Correct your spelling
PEOPLE
WHO DIRECT TO WORK IN THESE SECTIONS WILL SURGE. IN SHORT,
INSTEAD
OF FORCING
PEOPLE
TO CHOOSE THESE JOBS, THESE PROBLEMS CAN BE SOLVED
BY
Change preposition
IN
show examples
THIS
WAY.
Submitted by asgerlituran35 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in your introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion to enhance the structure of your essay.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay can be improved by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea supported by relevant explanations and examples.
supported main points
Elaborate on your main points with more developed arguments and provide relevant examples to support your position. This will enhance the coherence of the essay and ensure that your ideas are fully explained and supported.
complete response
Your essay should provide a more complete response to the prompt by addressing both sides of the issue, even if you ultimately take a clear position. Be sure to explain why you agree or disagree with the statement, giving balanced considerations.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Avoid overgeneralizations and make sure each argument is fully fleshed out and easy to understand.
relevant specific examples
To strengthen your essay, incorporate specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic. Use these examples to illustrate your arguments and show a deeper understanding of the issue.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: