In some countries the average weight of people is increasiong and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #increasiong #levels #health #fitness #measures

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These days, people's lifestyles are so varied from the past;

as a result

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, we can see most countries are obese and the level of fitness is declining.

This

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essay discusses the main reasons that make

this

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matter and how can we solve it.

this

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issue like other problems has some reasons that make it;

moreover

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, both improving technology and changing food habits are the main reasons for

this

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matter.

Firstly

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, today, technology has been developing really fast and we can do our work which needs going out and doing activities

such

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as buying things, going to the back, watching movies, and other things in our house with less time.

For example

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, I do not need to spend a lot of time in the mall to find clothes that I like

while

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when I watch interesting

film

Fix the agreement mistake

films

show examples

, surf the net and find the costume that I like and order it to send to my house.

Secondly

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, most global inhabitants prefer to eat junk foods, which have a lot of oil, sugar, and other materials that are not good for health,

instead

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of fresh dishes that have vegetables, proteins, and vitamins;

therefore

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, their weight is leaping and they are not healthy populations.

This

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issue can be solved when we not only do exercise but

also

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eat healthy food. I advise that governments make opportunities that their communities to exercise if the population exercises by some devices that are in the public transport station, they can obtain free tickets or people who go to the hospital when they weigh more than a number must pay a lot of money. It is important that people alter their food;

furthermore

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, authorities are the best organization owing to the fact that they can advertise good meals.

To sum up

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, we cannot find a question that does not have a solution;

nevertheless

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, it is crucial that both society and government want to change their situation and make it better.

Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on Fri Aug 09 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to provide specific examples to support your points more effectively. This helps in illustrating your argument and making it more convincing.

task achievement

Work on clarity in presenting your ideas. Some sentences are a bit convoluted and could be simplified or restructured for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

Create a more precise balance in each paragraph to ensure smooth transitions between ideas, helping to maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Double-check sentence structures and grammatical accuracy to improve readability and overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly outline the topic and summarize the main points discussed.

task achievement

The essay covers the main causes and solutions comprehensively, fulfilling the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasiong and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the responsibility is with the government to control the rise in obesity in children, others think the parents are the cause. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Write a letter to the retailer to complain. In the letter: – Explain why you are unhappy – Request a refund – Make arrangements to return the damaged item