Some people believe that the government should support the funds for the arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss bith views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, there are various debates about where and how the government should spend money. Some people believe that
art
is important for any society, so authorities should consider it when they want to allocate a budget, but on the contrary
, others think public health
and education are more essential for the population.
The importance of art
in our nation is undeniable. It is one of the key elements in depicting cultures around the globe.For instance
, If the government find it valuable enough to spend money they will see how their country is becoming influenced positively by absorbing more tourists. Usually
tourists who are looking for Add a comma
Usually,
art
galleries or museums will be charged. However
, there is no doubt that human health
and well-being is
much more vital than Correct subject-verb agreement
are
art
. As a result
, art
boosts countries’ economies and helps them spread their culture all over the world.
In contrast
, some opponents are against spending on art
, while
health
conditions and an improved education system are more beneficial. If people feel health
and motivated the level of life expectancy in society will be raised. Replace the word
healthy
Additionally
, developing schools and universities to grow expert workforces, also
can increase financial status in societies. For example
, a country with a healthful population and knowledgable
individuals will be more powerful than others.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
art
is a valuable sector for extending our culture to other countries, but the government should not neglect of public health
and education system. As a result
, nobody can underestimate their worth, so all nations should make a balance when they are classifying their budget.Submitted by afrough on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it is supported with specific examples or further explanation. While the essay mentions the impact of art on tourism and the importance of health and education, more detailed examples or data could strengthen the argument.
Task Achievement
Work on expanding your main points with explanations and examples that more directly support your argument. This will lead to a clearer and more comprehensive development of ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Link your ideas more clearly by using a range of cohesive devices and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. Ensure that the essay flows logically from one idea to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Reinforce the introduction and conclusion by clearly stating the topic and summarizing the main points with a definitive stance, ensuring relevance to the question throughout the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?