Some think that experiment done on animals are cruel so it should be prohibited. To what extend do you agree?

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Some of the experiments need to be done on a kind of
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
,
while
a
propotion
Correct your spelling
portion
of
crowd
Correct article usage
the crowd
show examples
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
this
is too cruel and is better to be halted and
know
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
as
illegal
Add an article
an illegal
show examples
activity.I
am on
Verb problem
have
show examples
two different ideas for
this
assumption.
First,
animals
have
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
and
underestand
Correct your spelling
understand
pains and it not
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
by some,
next,
these pain and
dangerous
Replace the word
dangers
show examples
might be experienced by people rather than
animals
if we stop
this
work.I will discuss both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
to seek a conclusion. First of all,suffering
animals
to
dicovery
Correct your spelling
discover
discovery
new sciences or products might have negative impacts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.The news and videos of these laboratories will be
publisized
Correct your spelling
published
inevitably and can be reflected in people's behaviour. A child can be
disapointed
Correct your spelling
disappointed
about The World and get depression,
as well as
, an
adoult
Correct your spelling
adult
get
anxiety
Replace the word
anxious
show examples
and angry,both are results of knowing and
whatching
Correct your spelling
watching
hurting
animals
.
For example
, the viral animation which shows how
rabits
Correct your spelling
rabbits
pass in make-up manufacturing when they use new materials in their bodies
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
gain safety was
cause
Correct your spelling
because
show examples
of my little
brother
Change noun form
brother's
show examples
introverted acts for a week.
On the other hand
, if
scientifics
Correct your spelling
scientists
do not experience innovations
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
specific spacious, it can be expensive in
possible
Change the word
possibly
show examples
dangerous for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
or time-consuming
in exporting
Change preposition
to export
show examples
. Despite the cruel activity is not acceptable by some, is a shortcut for producing goods and using medical treatments for curing people and
due to
that it
worth
Add a missing verb
is worth
show examples
doing.Take The
Covide-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
vaccine as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
example,it would
took
Wrong verb form
have taken
show examples
a long time to find a safe type of that if they had not injected for
monkies
Correct your spelling
monkeys
show examples
at first,
subsequently
, more mortality estatistic could
be
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
achieved in the pandemic. In conclusion, killing and hurting
animals
in laboratories
for creating
Change preposition
to create
show examples
beneficial wares
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
an integral part of the processes
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
of bad psychological aspects for individuals.So, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
they should maintain their method.
Submitted by amirhossein7179 on

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Task Achievement & Coherence
Work on developing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. The content provided is somewhat relevant, but often the explanations are not fully developed or elaborated upon. Aim for more depth in your main points.
Coherence
Improve on grammar, word choice, and sentence structure. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrases throughout the essay that impede understanding.
Cohesion
Ensure a more logical flow in the essay with better use of connectors and transitions between ideas. Currently, there are abrupt jumps in thought that make the essay challenging to follow.
Logical Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present but work on making the thesis statement and concluding remarks clearer and more impactful. They should distinctly convey your main argument and stance.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. While there is an attempt to provide examples, they could be more detailed and direct in illustrating the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cruel
  • prohibited
  • controversial
  • ethical concerns
  • benefits
  • medical research
  • scientific knowledge
  • new treatments
  • regulated
  • ethical guidelines
  • minimize harm
  • alternative methods
  • explored
  • encouraged
  • public opinion
  • divided
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