Some think that experiment done on animals are cruel so it should be prohibited. To what extend do you agree?

#think #experiment #animals

Some of the experiments need to be done on a kind of

animals

Fix the agreement mistake

animal

show examples

while

propotion

Correct your spelling

portion

crowd

Correct article usage

the crowd

show examples

believe

Correct subject-verb agreement

believes

show examples

this

is too cruel and is better to be halted and

know

Wrong verb form

known

show examples

illegal

Add an article

an illegal

show examples

activity.I

am on

Verb problem

have

show examples

two different ideas for

this

assumption.

First,

animals

have

emotion

Fix the agreement mistake

emotions

show examples

and

underestand

Correct your spelling

understand

pains and it not

favored

Change the spelling

favoured

show examples

by some,

next,

these pain and

dangerous

Replace the word

dangers

show examples

might be experienced by people rather than

animals

if we stop

this

work.I will discuss both

view

Change to a plural noun

views

show examples

to seek a conclusion. First of all,suffering

animals

dicovery

Correct your spelling

discover

discovery

new sciences or products might have negative impacts

Change preposition

show examples

our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

.The news and videos of these laboratories will be

publisized

Correct your spelling

published

inevitably and can be reflected in people's behaviour. A child can be

disapointed

Correct your spelling

disappointed

about The World and get depression,

as well as

, an

adoult

Correct your spelling

adult

get

anxiety

Replace the word

anxious

show examples

and angry,both are results of knowing and

whatching

Correct your spelling

watching

hurting

animals

For example

, the viral animation which shows how

rabits

Correct your spelling

rabbits

pass in make-up manufacturing when they use new materials in their bodies

for

Change preposition

show examples

gain safety was

cause

Correct your spelling

because

show examples

of my little

brother

Change noun form

brother's

show examples

introverted acts for a week.

On the other hand

, if

scientifics

Correct your spelling

scientists

do not experience innovations

Change preposition

show examples

specific spacious, it can be expensive in

possible

Change the word

possibly

show examples

dangerous for

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

or time-consuming

in exporting

Change preposition

to export

show examples

. Despite the cruel activity is not acceptable by some, is a shortcut for producing goods and using medical treatments for curing people and

due to

that it

worth

Add a missing verb

is worth

show examples

doing.Take The

Covide-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

vaccine as

Change the article

show examples

example,it would

took

Wrong verb form

have taken

show examples

a long time to find a safe type of that if they had not injected for

monkies

Correct your spelling

monkeys

show examples

at first,

subsequently

, more mortality estatistic could

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

achieved in the pandemic. In conclusion, killing and hurting

animals

in laboratories

for creating

Change preposition

to create

show examples

beneficial wares

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

an integral part of the processes

inspite

Correct your spelling

in spite

of bad psychological aspects for individuals.So, in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

they should maintain their method.

Submitted by amirhossein7179 on Sat Feb 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement & Coherence

Work on developing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. The content provided is somewhat relevant, but often the explanations are not fully developed or elaborated upon. Aim for more depth in your main points.

Coherence

Improve on grammar, word choice, and sentence structure. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrases throughout the essay that impede understanding.

Cohesion

Ensure a more logical flow in the essay with better use of connectors and transitions between ideas. Currently, there are abrupt jumps in thought that make the essay challenging to follow.

Logical Structure

The introduction and conclusion are present but work on making the thesis statement and concluding remarks clearer and more impactful. They should distinctly convey your main argument and stance.

Task Achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. While there is an attempt to provide examples, they could be more detailed and direct in illustrating the argument.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cruel
prohibited
controversial
ethical concerns
benefits
medical research
scientific knowledge
new treatments
regulated
ethical guidelines
minimize harm
alternative methods
explored
encouraged
public opinion
divided

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