The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year.  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart represents male and
female’s
Change noun form
female
show examples
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
of
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
literacy
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
in some parts of the world for the
last
Linking Words
year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
's
rate
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
illiteracy had always been higher than
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
in all
countries
Use synonyms
mentioned. The
men
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's tendency for not reading books
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
always lower compared to
women
Use synonyms
's, ultimately in some nations
such
Linking Words
as East
Asia
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, Sub-Saharan Africa, Arab States, and South
Asia
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. These
countries
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held
men
Use synonyms
's
rate
Use synonyms
of illiteracy to only around 30%,
whereas
Linking Words
in other parts of the world
such
Linking Words
as Latin
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
and East
Asia
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, the number was relatively low,
approximately
Change preposition
at approximately
show examples
around 10%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
's trend for not being aware of literacy
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
always higher compared to
men
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
can clearly be seen in the four
countries
Use synonyms
mentioned previously, since the rates were almost twice
larger
Correct word choice
as high
show examples
compared to
men
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in South
Asia
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,
women
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's
rate
Use synonyms
of illiteracy reached the highest of all, which was around 55%,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
's
rate
Use synonyms
was just around 34%.
Submitted by nadillamntr on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, countries, women, men, asia with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Illiteracy rates
  • Region
  • Gender disparity
  • Bar chart
  • Estimated
  • Summarise
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Analyzing
  • Discrepancies
  • Significant
  • Pronounced
  • Speculation
  • Male
  • Female
  • Global perspective
  • Literacy
  • Educational attainment
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Cultural influences
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