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Band 6.5

Some people think that the increasing use of computer and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on the young people reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #computer #phones #effects #skills
In the current century,
computers
 and mobile
phones
 have completely changed
people
's lives. Youngsters are the group of society which is affected by
this
 new
technology
 the most. Some
people
 believe that it has negative effects on them, including reading and writing skills. I totally agree with
this
 opinion and I believe that
technology
 has its cons in minors' ability to read and write.
Firstly
, using
computers
 and cell
phones
 prevents young
people
 from reading books by providing them with other ways to spend their
time
. After the distribution of
computers
 and mobile
phones
 among
people
, youngsters spend too much
time
 playing video games.
Also
,
technology
 introduced social media to the young generation which consumes a vast amount of their
time
.
Additionally
,
computers
 encourage
people
 to watch movies and series more than usual. So, young folks will be less likely to read books when there are so many other options presented to them.
Secondly
,
computers
 and mobile
phones
 reduce minors' spelling and sentence-making skills.
Although
 they cause
people
 to text and write their conversations more than before, they provide many facilities like auto-correction the dictational mistakes or AI applications for fixing grammar and semantic errors in a sentence.
In addition
 to that, there are many spelling mistakes on social media and since minors spend a long
time
 there, they can be affected by the mistakes even if they know the correct spelling.
Hence
, the writing ability can be affected by
technology
 by the facilities it provides and the errors it spreads.
Overall
, I am inclined to agree with the fact that
computers
 and
phones
 have unsuitable effects on the ability of reading and writing of the young
people
. They prevent them from involving in reading books and writing essays without assistance and they teach youngsters the wrong spelling. It is recommended that the youth limit their
time
 on their
phones
 and
computers
 and dedicate some
time
 to actually reading and writing without the help of
technology
.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices effectively to create a flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should clearly reflect the main argument of the essay, offering a summary of the key points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Support main ideas with specific details and examples to provide a comprehensive understanding. Avoid overly general statements and try to substantiate claims with concrete evidence.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task thoroughly, including both your opinion and contrasting viewpoints if the question prompts a discussion.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clear and comprehensively developed throughout the essay, avoiding repetition and unnecessary information.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to illustrate and support each of your points. Make sure these examples are fully integrated into your argument and are clearly linked to the main ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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