10/2 Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, because of the growing population, finding
out
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
measure
to deal with people's Fix the agreement mistake
measures
accomodation
has become a vital issue for Correct your spelling
accommodation
the
society. Some regard keeping old Correct article usage
apply
buildings
as a waste of resources, therefore
, new buildings
should be built. Personally, I firmly agree with this
stance, and the following content will outline my reasons.
Historical buildings
can not only waste money but also
have some potential risks to residents. After long-time usage, the structure of buildings
might be damaged and fragile, as a result
, fares of regular maintainence
will be higher as the usage time Correct your spelling
maintenance
extended
. Add a missing verb
is extended
Moreover
, some irreversible and hided
damages might threaten residents' health and even lives. Correct word choice
hidden
For instance
, the tolerance and duration of buildings
could be lower, due to
the stronger destruction from disasters. Hence
, to renew
Change the verb form
renewing
these ancient accomodation
could be both money and life savers.
Change the determiner
this ancient accomodation
Furthermore
, the design of previous constructions might not suitable
for the current human population. Add a missing verb
be suitable
For example
, compared with an apartment,
single level houses are not the first choice for architects and designers, because more space is needed in rural areas. Moverover
, the lifestyle of people in the city has changed, entertaining areas, shopping malls and restaurants are essential for stressful and fast-paced workers, Correct your spelling
Moreover
hence
, redesign
Wrong verb form
redesigning
of
residential districts is crucial in order to suit people's Change preposition
apply
demand
.
In conclusion, safety and financial concerns could be Fix the agreement mistake
demands
persuative
reasons to rebuild historic Correct your spelling
persuasive
accomodation
. Correct your spelling
accommodation
Moreover
, more comfortable and suitable designs for rural residents can efficiently use the lands which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
locate
in the city. Wrong verb form
located
Therefore
, I strongly believe renew
these old Wrong verb form
renewing
buildings
could be beneficial for the community.Submitted by chaoweikevin on
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Improve the logical structure by ensuring that ideas transition smoothly from one to the next. Use a wider range of cohesion devices to demonstrate clear connections between paragraphs and sentences.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. Examples need to be expanded upon to fully illustrate the points you are making.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.