In many countries students who leave high school have no understanding of how to manage their money What do you think are the reasons?What can be done to improve chis important skill?
There are many places
arround
the world where students leave high school and they can'Correct your spelling
around
t
manage their money
, there are many reasons because
Correct word choice
why
this
happen
.
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
To begin
with, we have to know that is
not too easy manage
our Fix the infinitive
to manage
expenses
specially
when we are young because young people like to spend Replace the word
especially
money
in
clothes and food because when they get their first job and they start to earn Change preposition
on
money
is really exciting and there are some people who don't
have things to pay because usually
they live with their parents, so it's really hard to have Add a comma
usually,
a
control of things that they really need to buy.
For another hand, there are young people who have many Remove the article
apply
expenses
because they have children or they want to help their parents with doubts, they gave
parents Wrong verb form
give
mostly
of their salary and they can'Correct your spelling
most
t
administrate money
because they don't
have enough to manage, in this
case
is really hard for them to find the best way to have Add the comma(s)
case,
a
control of their Remove the article
apply
money
.
In my opinion
I think that a useful way to manage Add a comma
opinion,
money
for someone who left the
high school is with notes, they can write Correct article usage
apply
on
a notebook all that they earn in a month and separate Change preposition
in
main
Correct pronoun usage
their main
expenses
leaving less important things to buy for the end.
To conclude
everything is gonna
depends Verb problem
apply
of
the situation that they areChange preposition
on
, but
is good to organize all the main Change preposition
in, but
expenses
with the salary to have a balance.Submitted by j.mol.santana on
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introduction conclusion present
The introduction could be improved by providing a clearer explanation of the issue and stating your position or thesis more distinctly. Ensure the introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main points of your essay effectively.
logical structure
Consider practising the development of clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your main points. Use cohesive devices (linking words) more precisely to create better flow and clarity.
supported main points
Your main points could be strengthened by providing more detailed examples and evidence. Consider using statistics or real-life scenarios to underscore your arguments.
complete response
While your response addresses the question, aim to produce a more complete answer that fully explores the reasons and solutions with depth and breadth. Expand your ideas further and avoid overly generalized statements.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on presenting your ideas with greater clarity and detail. Shape your argument with fully explained concepts and avoid ambiguous or vague phrases.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant examples that are specific to the topic of financial management among young people. Relatable anecdotes, hypothetical situations, or well-known facts could serve as compelling evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.