In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
In most parts of the world, some communities argue that an increase in life expectancy is a challenge to the governing authorities
while
others believe it is an advantage. In my conviction, having more older generations would make more expertise in every field while
their health
would have a
little impact on the economy of the Correct article usage
apply
country
. On that stand , I totally agree with the captioned statement that benefits those created by the aged population
compensate for the drawbacks for the country
.
To begin
with, the elderly population
takes leadership in most fields of the country
owning to their knowledge and experiences. such
as, they carry a wealth of experiences which can be utilized to increase the productivity, and success of the business, education , homeland security and many more. These are regarded as the key aspects of a country
.Therefore
, aged people are regarded as a valuable asset to every nation. Even, high-end companies always try to keep their oldest individuals at the highest ranks to lead their own companies. for instance
, after the loss of Steve Jobs at Apple company, the directory board allocated the most experienced and older Tim Cook as the leader of the company.Hence
, elderly workers would be a blessing for the state.
However
, with ageing comes the problem of health
into the act, and that limits the efficacy of the work that is
carried out by elder individuals. For instance
, the Australian government spent 20 million Australian dollars on the adult population
in the year 2023, which is only 0.5% of the gross national income of the country
. Therefore
, although
, their health
could matter on the national income, it's mostly insignificant , and not out
weights the benifits
.
In conclusion, the elderly generation carries vast knowledge and experiences which are valuable for the upliftment of a Correct your spelling
benefits
country
, and drawbacks like their health
status would not be a major concern to a country
economically. As such
, this
writer is in agreement with the notion that the advantages of having an ageing population
outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by dinaka0001 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the ideas connect logically to each other. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good. However, make sure that they clearly state your position and summarise your main points, respectively. Also, attempt to make the introduction and conclusion more distinct from one another.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Include statistics, research findings, or specific instances where the elderly have contributed significantly to society.
task achievement
While you have achieved a complete response, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages in equal measure and make your argument as balanced as possible before stating your conclusion.
task achievement
Strive for clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Work on simplifying complex sentences and checking for grammar issues that could make it hard for the reader to understand the points you are trying to make.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example