2nd - The only reason why people work is to earn money, there aren’t any other reasons for working. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s world, the motivation behind people’s dedication to work has sparked considerable debate. Some believe that financial gain is the sole driving force,
while
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others contend that personal fulfilment and values
also
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play significant roles. I totally agree with the idea that getting paid is the main driver for employment, as it ensures survival and a stable lifestyle. First and foremost,
although
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wisdom quotes said
money
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is not everything, in fact, all the needs require
money
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.
Whereas
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, the only way to obtain finances is through offering skills which individuals have to companies or others.
For instance
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, fresh graduates who are not already financially supported by their parents try to apply for several positions
according to
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their major.
Therefore
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, those working are oriented in finance to support living and ensure survival in
this
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hassle environment.
Furthermore
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, people can enjoy their activities when they do not worry about
money
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and have financial stability. With sufficient finances, individuals will pursue whatever they want, no matter the cost. A well-known example of a financial stable is how people are able to carry out their pastime
besides
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working in an office because they earn properly.
Thus
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, getting paid is the reason human still behave in doing their jobs in order to fulfil their desires without question. In conclusion, people are used to working because of
money
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and will hesitate to do that without
this
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compensation.
Although
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there are other reasons why humans decide to work, the first thing that comes to their mind is how to meet their needs.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by discussing other reasons why people work, which would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all points are clearly developed and supported with relevant examples for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the transition between ideas and paragraphs to improve the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, indicating strong agreement with the statement.
coherence and cohesion
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids understanding.
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