2nd - The only reason why people work is to earn money, there aren’t any other reasons for working. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s world, the motivation behind people’s dedication to work has sparked considerable debate. Some believe that financial gain is the sole driving force,

while

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others contend that personal fulfilment and values

also

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play significant roles. I totally agree with the idea that getting paid is the main driver for employment, as it ensures survival and a stable lifestyle. First and foremost,

although

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wisdom quotes said

money

Use synonyms

is not everything, in fact, all the needs require

money

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Whereas

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, the only way to obtain finances is through offering skills which individuals have to companies or others.

For instance

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, fresh graduates who are not already financially supported by their parents try to apply for several positions

according to

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their major.

Therefore

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, those working are oriented in finance to support living and ensure survival in

this

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hassle environment.

Furthermore

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, people can enjoy their activities when they do not worry about

money

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and have financial stability. With sufficient finances, individuals will pursue whatever they want, no matter the cost. A well-known example of a financial stable is how people are able to carry out their pastime

besides

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working in an office because they earn properly.

Thus

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, getting paid is the reason human still behave in doing their jobs in order to fulfil their desires without question. In conclusion, people are used to working because of

money

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and will hesitate to do that without

this

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compensation.

Although

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there are other reasons why humans decide to work, the first thing that comes to their mind is how to meet their needs.

nineband9sTue Feb 25 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing a more balanced view by discussing other reasons why people work, which would strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that all points are clearly developed and supported with relevant examples for better clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Try to enhance the transition between ideas and paragraphs to improve the overall flow of the essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear position on the topic, indicating strong agreement with the statement.

coherence and cohesion

You have structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids understanding.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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