IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on evironment, eating habit and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#food #industry #effect #evironment #habit #families
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It is universally acknowledged that the innovation of the fast
food
industry
 has brought convenience to some extent. People's opinions on the pros and cons of
this
 dietary habit differ. From my perspective, the existence of
this
industry
 has led to disasters both environmentally and personally. With the improvement of technology,
food
 has evolved into a variety of categories, and fast
food
 is one of the most popular choices. Its speed and affordability attract those who dislike inconvenience, and the number of
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 restaurants has risen annually
due to
 the profits they generate.
However
, where there are advantages, negative consequences often follow.
Firstly
, fast
food
 contains high levels of unhealthy fats and other ingredients that can harm human health. Frequent consumption not only leads to weight gain but
also
 increases the risk of various illnesses, creating potential problems for family well-being and harmony.
Secondly
, the production process of fast
food
 is damaging the environment. Cattle raised for beef hamburgers contribute to air pollution by emitting methane, a potent greenhouse gas.
Additionally
, the
industry
 generates vast amounts of waste. Disposable plastic products like straws and cups are widely used and discarded after one use, putting the environment at
further
 risk. In conclusion, the negative effects of the fast
food
industry
 are undeniable, leading to environmental degradation and personal health issues. I strongly agree with the viewpoint that the
industry
 has more harmful impacts than benefits.
Submitted by n6160978224716 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or statistical data to further support your arguments. This will strengthen the task response.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each main point is evenly developed with examples or explanations, to enhance the support for your main ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance, strongly agreeing with the negative impacts of the fast food industry.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay discusses both environmental and personal health impacts, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental degradation
  • Carbon footprint
  • Supply chain processes
  • Livestock farming
  • Eating patterns
  • High-calorie, low-nutrient meals
  • Obesity
  • Familial bonds
  • Advertising
  • Fostering a culture
  • Long-term health implications
  • Affordability
  • Accessibility
  • Efficient service
  • Economic growth
  • Employment opportunities
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