Billions of dollars are being wasted on space research. The money used could be better if used to improving condition on people on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#billions #dollars #space #research #money #condition #people #earth

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I believe that space is something very fascinating for us Humans, and it would be fantastic to discover more about

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

we consider that we only

seen

Wrong verb form

see

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and know a minimal portion of it,

however

, we live in a pretty messed up world where disparities within human beings are very big;

therefore

I would prefer if less money would be spent for space research and more to human development. There are countries like

africa

Change the capitalization

Africa

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that

live

Wrong verb form

have lived

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in absolute poverty

since

Change preposition

for

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decades, I was reading not long ago that a well only

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

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1,000$ USA dollars,

Correct word choice

and as

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of today there are still plenty of regions in

africa

Change the capitalization

Africa

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with no tap water; cancelling 1 space mission that cost billions could

possibily

Correct your spelling

possibly

provide potable water for plenty of regions in

africa

Change the capitalization

Africa

show examples

and potentially save many people lives.

Submitted by g.marta2013 on Mon Feb 12 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task achievement, expand your discussion of both viewpoints. While you clearly express a preference for spending on human development over space research, including more detailed analysis and acknowledgment of the potential benefits of space research could create a more balanced argument.

Task Achievement

Support your main points with more detailed examples and evidence. While the mention of the cost of a well in Africa is relevant, offering additional statistics, studies, or expert opinions could strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay more effectively. Introduce your topic with a clear thesis statement, followed by paragraphs each dedicated to a specific aspect of your argument. Conclude by summarizing your stance and reflecting on the broader implications.

Coherence and Cohesion

Transition and linking phrases can enhance the flow of your essay. Use them to connect ideas within and between paragraphs more smoothly. Phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'As a result' help to guide the reader through your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

134 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

billions of dollars
wasted
improving conditions
technological advancements
inspires
motivates
contributes
understanding of the universe
investment
indirect benefits
priority

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Billions of dollars are being wasted on space research. The money used could be better if used to improving condition on people on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?