Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, we see plenty of advertising in channels
such
as billboards, televisions, radios, and particularly, online media and can’t inevitable to see some
people
spend a short time seeing and
can’t not
Verb problem
being
show examples
aware subject that marketers communicate. In my opinion, influencers play a significant part in persuading consumers to purchase things.
To begin
, a lead of advertisement channels is media online channels because almost all
people
have smartphones and the internet and industries foresee the value to mark profit so, they pay large amounts to create awareness of the
product
.
Additionally
, an Influencer is the lead
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the presentation of a
product
,
for instance
, if you sell a pan, the first thing is pricing appropriate for quality and selecting a presenter should be suit for the
product
particularly, a character should be well-known in cooking, strong, and like a chef. Thing makes consumers pay attention to see
ads
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and have confidence in a
product
because they know a presenter and following them, they decide to buy.
Hence
, apparent that advertising persuades
people
.
On the other hand
, when
people
see advertisements,
people
avoid clicking by mean of skipping them,
although
,
ads
are interesting because make them interrupted because they don’t know the influencer, not want
this
product
in the time of future, particularly, if they click on
ads
that link a strange website that they don’t know, in worst case losing money or virus stuck in their phone. In a great way paying to hide
ads
. In conclusion, the presenter is a source of
desire
Add an article
the desire
show examples
to pay attention to advertising and paying money to buy too fast,
However
, depending on
message
Add an article
the message
show examples
of
ads
Correct article usage
the ads
show examples
, wanting? attracting
ads
, and time that their show.
Submitted by chompoo34888 on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, making it easier to follow, your main points could be clearer. Try to present each argument in a separate paragraph, beginning with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea of that paragraph. This will help improve the logical structure and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider expanding your introduction to briefly outline the arguments you plan to discuss. This helps to immediately orient the reader and sets the stage for a comprehensive treatment of the topic. Similarly, your conclusion can be strengthened by summarizing your arguments and stating your opinion clearly, possibly reflecting on the wider implications.
task achievement
Ensure each opinion or argument is supported by specific examples or explanations to improve the depth of your analysis and persuade the reader. While you mentioned the role of influencers, providing concrete examples or citing specific cases where influencers significantly impacted consumer decisions would bolster your arguments.
task achievement
Work on refining your essay’s organization and clarity by carefully planning each paragraph's structure. Start with an introduction to the topic, followed by paragraphs each addressing a specific viewpoint, and conclude with your opinion. This structure will help you fully address the task and clearly present your ideas.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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