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Band 5.5

Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent globalization is a positive or negative development?

#people #world #globalization #development
It is irrefutable that quick means of communication and fast means of transport have turned the world into a global village. One school of thought considers
globalization
 to be a positive development
whereas
 others advocate the opposite view. As far as my opinion is concerned, I believe that
globalization
 is a positive development and it is in
favor
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favour
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 of the present generation and posterity. There are
myriads
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myriad
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 of reasons to support that
globalization
 has proved to be a boon in many ways. It is because of
globalization
 that similar
culture
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cultures
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 emerging and
discriminations
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discrimination
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 on the basis of color, caste, religion, and race
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 at
low
Correct article usage
a low
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 ebb.
Moreover
, it boosts international tourism and trading
along with
 the international immigration of students and workers.
Besides
, because of international
culture
, today's people have more career opportunities than their counterparts of the past. It is revealed through many studies that in the past few years multinational companies have made progress by leaps and bounds. Despite so many positive effects, the ill effects of
globalization
 cannot be put on the back burner. Unfortunately, under the influence of universal
culture
, many languages are on the verge of extinction and people are losing their socio-cultural and moral values.
Furthermore
, developed countries have heavy dominance over developing nations, and poor countries have to bend with the wind.
However
, it cannot be denied that global
culture
 has resolved the majority of international
discriminations
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discrimination
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 and disputes. In a nutshell, it can be analyzed that
globalization
 is more positive than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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negative development. No country can survive alone in the world of
globalization
. The governments and common masses must work hand in hand to protect their respective nations from the adverse effects of
globalization
.
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Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion throughout your essay, which is great for Task Response. To score even higher, ensure your opinion is not only presented but also thoroughly explained in each body paragraph. This helps to make your stance unmistakably clear to the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay showcases a logical structure, which aids in Coherence and Cohesion. To enhance this, consider varying your sentence structures more dynamically. This will add sophistication and flow to your paragraphs, making your arguments more compelling.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve Coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, supported by relevant examples or evidence. While you do this well, pushing for even more detailed examples could further strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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