You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
millions of
children
Add a comma
children,
show examples
school become
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
first step of their education. Some people might think that nowadays
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
have a bigger influence on
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
intelligence and social skills than their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
. I'm
tottaly
Correct your spelling
totally
disagree with
this
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
and going to explain why in
this
essay. First of all,
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
usually get basic
knowleadge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
about the world from their
parents
. Most psychologists assume that the most important social skills are learned
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
ages
beetwen
Correct your spelling
between
3 to 6, and it's
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
parents
Change the noun form
parent
show examples
to shape social development through early socialization,
modeling
Change the spelling
modelling
show examples
appropriate
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, and facilitating peer interactions.
However
teachers are
also
should teach students good manners, even some schools have
a special lessons
Correct the article-noun agreement
a special lesson
special lessons
show examples
about it,
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
authority is
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
reason for most kids to keep their normal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
And there
Correct word choice
There
show examples
are a lot of stories when problems in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
became the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
future failures. The second reason why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
disagree with the statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is the fact that programs at schools are often standardized. Some kids are interested
by
Change the preposition
in
show examples
history,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prefer playing
music
Replace the word
musical
show examples
instruments or
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
games. So it's
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to help them to
really
Add a missing verb
be really
show examples
keen
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of disciplines. To illustrate
this
, there is
known
Correct article usage
a known
show examples
fact, that
parents
of a lot of
sucsessful
Correct your spelling
successful
sportsmen
also
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
doing sports in the past.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
the father of Erling Halland, one of the best
striker
Fix the agreement mistake
strikers
show examples
in
footbal
Correct your spelling
football
, was
also
a
profesional
Correct your spelling
professional
soccer player. Mother of Vitalik Buterin, the
forunder
Correct your spelling
founder
of the Etherium, is
also
a programmist.
As a result
, teachers surely influence children’s intelligence through structured educational programs, tailored lesson plans, and academic feedback, but for
me
Add a comma
me,
show examples
the main influence is usually made by
parents
.
Submitted by cryptofarmboy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transition words to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically by ensuring each body paragraph discusses a separate main point that supports your argument.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question. Develop a clear position from the beginning and stick to it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Include more detailed, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. Examples should be clearly linked to the points you are making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured educational programs
  • tailored lesson plans
  • academic feedback
  • educational environment
  • encouraging curiosity
  • facilitating group activities
  • teaching social skills
  • teamwork
  • early socialization
  • appropriate behaviors
  • peer interactions
  • balance of influence
  • quality of teacher-parent communication
  • external factors
  • extracurricular activities
  • effective education
  • social development
  • partnership
  • complementary roles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: