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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
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Nowadays, with the rapid change in technology,
behaviour
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the behaviour
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 of people reading the
news
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 started to change. For many years, people tended to buy newspapers every morning, but today they prefer to see the
news
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 through their gadgets. In my view, I wholeheartedly agree with
this
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 statement because new platforms have surpassed printed media, books, and any other references
due to
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 their inherent advantages. The first advantage is the duration to search for a piece of
news
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. Take a look back when we are trying to hunt a headline in the newspaper, it takes a long time rather than just typing the headline in our phone.
Moreover
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, any event that transpired just moments ago is promptly published on
news
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 portals.
For instance
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, to access
news
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, updates, and global events from a newspaper, you may have to wait 2-3 days for delivery.
In contrast
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, on websites, you receive information much more quickly. Another reason is that paper-based involves environmental harm,
such
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 as tree cutting and waste.
Consequently
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, it contributes to air pollution and climate disaster.
On the other hand
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, online
news
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 is eco-friendly. It has no impact on the nature. In conclusion, it is a common language that advanced technology outpaces conventional platforms
of
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apply
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in the world. I strongly support the ecosystem to increase the number of people to use digital
news
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.
Submitted by anjanadmr on

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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. While you have introduced the topic effectively, explicitly stating your stance at the beginning can strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance clarity, try to develop one idea per paragraph and use topic sentences more effectively. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
While you provided general examples to support your points, including more specific examples or statistical data could make your argument more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to create a more engaging and dynamic essay. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can add variety to your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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