IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Teachers in this modern era are unvalued by society than they were in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

#teachers #era #society
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Nowadays
teachers
Use synonyms
 are not apricated by the community
however
Linking Words
, in the previous decade, it was not so. I partially support the given viewpoint, and my arguments will be elaborated in the following paragraph. On the one hand, I agree that
teachers
Use synonyms
 have lost their value in society
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
,
as a result
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 of
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 amount of them. To be more specific, the county’s statistics provide information on which choosing teacher position has shown an increasing tendency in the past year.
For example
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, when I was at school, I remembered that I had 5 or 6
teachers
Use synonyms
,
although
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 when I look at my brother, who is
Correct article usage
a 5thgrade
show examples
5thgrade
Correct your spelling
5th-grade
 student, he has 15
teachers
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 crews are unvalued now.
Secondly
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, technology has a crucial rule for it.
For instance
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, improving online courses and online lessons have a detrimental effect on the value of those
such
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 as if they did not want to go
school
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to school
show examples
, they would join online lessons, thereby having easy accessibility in every moment.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand, I
also
Linking Words
 hold the view that
teachers
Use synonyms
 have an important role in their educational life. To be more precise, If they cannot explain any topic, we will not understand deeply,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, students face many challenges in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 span
such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 getting bad marks or
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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 some opinion about an exact topic.
Additionally
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,
teachers
Use synonyms
 not only teach lessons
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
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giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 support to them if they face any difficulties.
For example
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, when I was at school, I had a problem with selecting my university,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 my teacher, Mrs Jane gave me a hand
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 deciding it. In a nutshell, I agree that
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
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 the amount of teacher and improving technology have negative effects on their value, but I
also
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 hold my view, that those are important for everybody for their support and help.
Submitted by safiyyaqulamova on

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task achievement
Focus on developing a clear thesis statement in your introduction to guide the reader through your argument. This helps in establishing a clear stance from the beginning.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a single, clear main idea supported by examples or explanations. This will enhance the clarity of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to create a more complex and engaging writing style. This can also help in clarifying your ideas more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Transitional words and phrases can greatly improve the flow of your essay. Consider using them more frequently to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your work to correct minor grammar and spelling errors. This will not only improve coherence but also provide a more polished and professional presentation.
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