IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that young individuals have the right to freely choose their future jobs
according to
Linking Words
 their preferences,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that being realistic and thoughtful before making
such
Linking Words
 a decision is crucial.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I think it is highly beneficial to carefully consider one’s
career
Use synonyms
 choice. Careful Consideration Is Crucial
Firstly
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 should approach their future
career
Use synonyms
 paths with thoughtfulness and curiosity. If they do not carefully weigh their options, they may frequently change their minds later.
For instance
Linking Words
, constantly switching between different
career
Use synonyms
 paths prevents individuals from gaining proficiency in any particular field.
As a result
Linking Words
, they may lack depth in their knowledge and skills, which could hinder their long-term success.
Secondly
Linking Words
, blindly following parents’ wishes or pursuing careers based solely on perceived talents, without considering practical factors, can lead to dissatisfaction. Young
people
Use synonyms
 might end up in jobs that fail to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 them, ultimately resulting in a lack of motivation and passion for their work in the long run Advantages of Choosing Freely
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that individuals should have the freedom to choose their own jobs the way they want.
This
Linking Words
 freedom can lead to quicker decision-making and may save time, especially in urgent situations.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who follow their own preferences may adapt more quickly to job responsibilities and develop new skills efficiently. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some believe that allowing young
people
Use synonyms
 to choose their careers freely can have certain advantages, it is essential to think deeply and seek advice from those with life experience. I strongly believe that careful consideration is key to making informed decisions about one’s future
career
Use synonyms
, ensuring both personal
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 and professional success.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using transitional words and phrases. This will help in maintaining a smooth progression of ideas.
task response
To further support your points, consider including more specific examples or data that illustrate the consequences of career choices.
task response
Consider elaborating more on each point to develop your ideas fully. Detailed explanations can provide a clear, comprehensive view.
coherence
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion effectively.
task response
The task response is complete, addressing both perspectives of the topic and offering a personal opinion, which enriches the argument.
coherence
Points are supported with logical reasoning, which contributes to a clear understanding of the writer's position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: