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Band 5.5

Early technological developments helped people more than recent technological developments do. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#developments #people
In
this
 period of inflation/technology/modernity/ globalization, technological developments in early ages are more helpful than recent developments. some people argue that these discoveries are far more beneficial compared to those done nowadays. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
 notion and my opinion will be discussed in
further
 paragraphs with a suitable conclusion. To start with, supporting my agreement with the given statement, I firmly believe that recent technological establishments are more modern and scientific than the earlier ones.The previous establishment lacked infrastructure and
due to
 lack of knowledge became weakened at some stage.
In contrast
, if researchers had not done these particular developments, people would have been exposed to a variety of health problems, including polio or rubella and
therefore
, jeopardizing their health.
Moreover
,
this
 is mainly because these discoveries have eased people’s lives.
Secondly
, explaining some of the other supporting points in favour of
this
 statement, it is true that the future is often unpredictable and full of unexpected events.
As a result
, these discoveries may dramatically transform people’s lives and lead to a completely different human lifestyle. In conclusion, reminding all possibilities, preferably recent technological development is far better. I believe that the aforementioned points are strongly supporting my viewpoint.
Submitted by hamnafatima535 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear position throughout the response. Your introduction seems to support the notion that early technological developments were more beneficial, but later, your argument appears to favor recent technological advancements without a clear transition or explanation.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. Your arguments would be strengthened by mentioning specific technological developments from the past and now, and explaining how they impact people's lives differently.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Use connecting words and phrases to better link sentences and paragraphs, ensuring a smoother transition between ideas and sections of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review and revise your introduction and conclusion to ensure they clearly reflect your thesis and summarise your main points. These parts of your essay should bookend your arguments effectively, clearly stating your position at the beginning and summarising it at the end.
Coherence and Cohesion
Double-check your essay for any contradictory statements or unclear stances. Make sure your argument is consistent and logically structured throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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