Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons is it possitive or negative development?

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Money
Use synonyms
plays an important role in our daily
life
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. How manage
this
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income
is depending
Wrong verb form
depends
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upon yourself. In the modern world,
people
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likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
to use
money
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for spent
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to spend
show examples
rather than save. It affects
Correct pronoun usage
both
show examples
positively and negatively . In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
we discuss the porns and cons of
this
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the expenditure
of
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on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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daily
life
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increasing day by day. If we have enough savings, we must cost an arm or a leg. When we
comparing
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compare
show examples
the price of a phone, it is double
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
10 years back. Same as the mortgage, rent,
lones
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loans
even the daily using
meterials
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materials
like soap, food
meterials
Correct your spelling
materials
,
Correct word choice
and cloths
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cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
. So, enough savings are the
reponsibilty
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responsibility
of all
people
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.
Secondly
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,
this
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trend is common in
younger
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the younger
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generation. It is
bacause
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because
of the lack of finance management and
inproper
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improper
finance education. It is the responsibility of parents and teachers to educate them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childhood itself. They should
aware
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be aware
show examples
about
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of
show examples
sources of the income and liabilities. Save wealth in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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of good health.
Otherwise
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, it
become
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becomes
show examples
a burden when the age runs. We know that
the
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apply
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old age is
chellenging
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challenging
with
disease
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the disease
show examples
. So, save
money
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for
retairment
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retirement
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, we can spend the whole income for
meterialistc
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materialistic
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
or some
entertinment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
activities
inseted
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instead
inserted
of saving. If they are optimist in their
life
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. But it is not applicable
in
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to
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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. Here
people
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loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
their abilities and good attitudes.
To conclude
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,
Money
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is very essential for a
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
life
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. Manage
money
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and time
accordingingly
Correct your spelling
accordingly
. So we can lead a better
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by fspt1234 on

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General Improvement
Address spelling and minor grammar errors consistently to enhance clarity. Notable errors include 'porn' instead of 'pros', 'lones' instead of 'loans', and 'meterials' instead of 'materials'.
Coherence & Cohesion
Clarify the distinction between positive and negative aspects by using clear markers like 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand'. Simple transitions could help guide the reader more effectively through your argument structure.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data to support your points. While you discuss general trends like the increase in cost of living, mentioning specific studies, statistics, or personal anecdotes could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Enhance your introduction and conclusion to more explicitly state your thesis and summarize your key points. Currently, the essay's stance on whether this trend is positive or negative is somewhat unclear.
Coherence & Cohesion
Practice focusing each paragraph on a single idea to enhance coherence. Use the first sentence of each paragraph to introduce the main idea, and ensure every subsequent sentence supports that idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • consumer culture
  • financial literacy
  • economic optimism
  • financial instability
  • indebtedness
  • stimulating economic growth
  • personal satisfaction
  • innovation
  • job creation
  • investment
  • wealth accumulation
  • advertising
  • social media
  • luxury lifestyles
  • financial planning
  • future security
  • emergencies
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