In many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with academic subjects. What is your opinion? What are the effects on the children in their lives?

#countries #sports #exercise #classes #subjects #effects #children #lives

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, when our society is in the stage of rapid development, a tendency can be seen that a huge number of schools replace

sports

lessons with academic classes. It is agreed, that the main cause of

this

issue is the desire to make

children

more educated;

however

due to

the lack of physical activities

children

can suffer from physical

as well as

mental diseases.

This

essay,

firstly

,will discuss why some people strongly believe that

this

decision is beneficial,followed by an analysis of outcomes which can influence

children

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and health.

To begin

with, our humanity encourages pupils to be involved in the education process by learning academic subjects ,as technological progress requires a clever

future

generation.

Moreover

, the

future

incomes of each person depend on their awareness of the particular field of study. To illustrate, doctors or IT staff can be a great example of highly-paid work positions and to be successful in these areas each individual has to be academically educated.

In addition

sports

achievements rarely can be awarded in

future

, because statistics show that a small minority of sportsmen become famous.

On the other hand

, physical activities, whatever they are, have a huge impact on people, especially on

children

,because their organism is in the stage of formation.

Furthermore

sports

stimulate brain processes and encourage kids to learn. There are some

evidences

Change the wording

evidence

pieces of evidence

shreds of evidence

show examples

that prove that

children

who attend additional

sports

facultative are more successful than their passive peers.

Also

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

as a habit can help to reduce risks of appearance diseases in

future

such

as dementia, cancer and problems with the cardiovascular system to name a few .

Besides

, basketball or volleyball are team-played games,

therefore

they help to develop communication skills,

as well as

a strategical way of thinking.

To conclude

this

essay agrees with the idea that it is necessary to be educated in academic fields,

due to

future

opportunities which depend on

this

knowladge

Correct your spelling

knowledge

;

nevertheless

sports

classes should be provided,since it has a high impact on

children

's health.

Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on Mon Feb 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader

Task Achievement

Introduce more concrete examples and data to support your main points, enhancing the effectiveness of your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain a consistent flow of ideas by improving the logical connections and transitions between paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures to create a more engaging and dynamic essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to avoid repetitive phrases and synonyms to enrich your vocabulary and overall expression.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Physical well-being
Healthy growth and development
Obesity
Diabetes
Mental health
Stress
Anxiety
Depression
Social skills
Teamwork
Leadership
Communication
Academic performance
Concentration
Memory
Cognitive functions
Lifelong habits
Balanced lifestyle
Holistic development
Talent development
Athletics

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have a full-time job and you are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. Write a letter to your teachers. In your letter describe the situation explain why you cannot continue at this time say what action you would like to take You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ................. ,
I hope this letter finds you well.
5
band
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own decision on everyday matters (such as food, cloth and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Although it is sometimes thought that decision-making by children on their daily issues probably leads a community to focus on personal desires, some people are of the opinion that children need to decide about things that have impacts on them. Personally speaking, I would say that if younger people make decisions on their own, they are predicted to be more selfish when they grow up.
5
band
In some city’s, there are few controls over the design and construction of new homes and office building so people can build whatever they like. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In some cities, the minimum controls regarding the construction and design of houses and buildings are giving the freedom for people to build as they desire. As much as it satifies us to be able to have our dream buildings to be constructed, I argue that it has the possibility of ruining the natural parts of the city which might causes a potential danger in the future.
7.5
band
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as sahara desert and atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Travelling to remote areas is increasingly becoming popular among humans. Although sometimes it could be entirely disastrous, people really enjoy a lot visiting treacherous places.
6.5
band
Some people think the media – television and films – negatively affect people's behaviour. Others do not think so. How do you think the media affects people's behaviour? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In the realm of modern media, including television shows and films, lies a profound influence on human behavior, encompassing both constructive and detrimental impacts. This intricate interplay between media and behavior necessitates a comprehensive exploration, unveiling its multifaceted effects on societal norms and individual conduct.

In many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with academic subjects. What is your opinion? What are the effects on the children in their lives?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some city’s, there are few controls over the design and construction of new homes and office building so people can build whatever they like. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as sahara desert and atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Some people think the media – television and films – negatively affect people's behaviour. Others do not think so. How do you think the media affects people's behaviour? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.