Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
is able to
enable
Verb problem
apply
show examples
ameliorate emotions and affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mood. In
this
essay, I will have a contention about the agreement
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
effectiveness of
music
on the reduction of stress. It has been scientifically proved that
music
is not just a cultural feature or artistic work, but
also
it can trigger an anxiety or cheerful mood and
also
afford sparking
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
motivation energy and
pulling
Wrong verb form
pull
show examples
listeners forward. It is, to coin a phrase, the art is
interpretation
Add an article
an interpretation
the interpretation
show examples
of the interior feeling and soul.
Thus
, the effect of
music
on the feeling is undeniable. It goes without saying that,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
are not the only impressionable creatures, animals are impressed by
music
, too.
For instance
, in one research the playing song ameliorates the lactation of the cows. Stress as
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the emotions,
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diverse ambient conditions
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
music
can be one of them.
In addition
, it can inculcate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness and relaxation
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
different genres. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
opponents opt the inaccurate genres which is incompatible with their moods.
For example
, if you have
headache
Add an article
a headache
show examples
, you never use
stomachache
Correct article usage
a stomachache
show examples
painkiller.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
classical
music
such
as, Mozart, is able to balance the breathing rate with its tune. In fact, the musical rhythm affords the reduction in
serve
Correct your spelling
severe
show examples
tension of heart beat. In recapitulate,
music
is an inseparable part of art which
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
up with an interior soul’s idea.
By harmonic
Change preposition
Harmonic
show examples
rhythm and tune can be effective in feelings and thoughts.
For
this
reason, relaxation and meditation are
along with
music
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure a clear introduction by directly addressing the question and stating your position. Avoid vague expressions and get straight to the point.
Task Achievement
Develop your main ideas with detailed examples. Make sure every paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by explanation and illustration through examples or evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear and logical organization throughout your essay. Start with an introduction, follow with body paragraphs, each focusing on a separate idea, and conclude your essay by summarizing your arguments or restating your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs but avoid overusing them.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance cohesion, make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. This can be achieved through the effective use of topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!