Some believe that installing CCTVs in high crime areas will help to reduce crime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some individuals feel that it would be helpful to install security
cameras
in dangerous
areas
in order to diminish
crime
rate.
This
essay will highlight some of the benefits and drawbacks that result from
such
an approach.
To begin
with the positives, a crucial advantages that
arises
Change the verb form
arise
show examples
from
this
approach is that it will definitely reduce acts of
crime
.
This
is because criminals are more conscious about what they are determined to do and they are more likely to think twice.
Otherwise
, if they
comin
Correct your spelling
comin'
commit
a
crime
, they will ensure that sooner or later they will be
cought
Correct your spelling
caught
by police officers.
Besides
that,
this
trend might deter wrongdoers and junkies from using,
saling
Correct your spelling
selling
, and trafficking narcotics in public places
such
as parks and
alleis
Correct your spelling
allies
alleys
notably in slums.
Hence
, by
puting
Correct your spelling
putting
in CCTVs, public and
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
residents of poor
areas
would probably feel safer than before.
On the other hand
, installation of surveillance
cameras
in
crime
areas
presents some problems.
For instance
, citizens might argue that they have lost their
privicy
Correct your spelling
privacy
by being monitored. The reason for
this
is that it is obviously an opposite act of human rights. Another significant disadvantages of using
such
cameras
is that they are costly for governments. To make matters worse, there is no guarantee that
cameras
will not be stolen or broken by highly professional thefts.
Consequently
, it
also
might be a waste of money. In conclusion, despite the benefits of putting security
cameras
on in certain
crime
areas
that
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
less violence and drug-related issues, the drawbacks of spending too much money and invading humans first rights should be taken into account.
Submitted by shamim1999 on

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Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic of CCTVs in high crime areas, but the supporting examples and details for both advantages and disadvantages are not fully developed. To enhance your score, try to elaborate more on each point with specific, real-world examples that clearly demonstrate the impact of CCTVs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is apparent, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to improve coherence, work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to link ideas more effectively. Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay has an introduction and conclusion, they could be improved to more precisely state the essay's main argument and summarize the key points more effectively. In the introduction, make the thesis statement clearer. The conclusion should succinctly encapsulate the advantages and disadvantages discussed, offering a more decisive stance.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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