IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Teamwork offers a lot of benefits in modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#teamwork #society
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In
this
 modern time, working on a project as a
team
 provides a lot of
advantage
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advantages
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. The benefits are
like
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apply
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built self-confidence, enhancement of knowledge, social links and
problem solving
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problem-solving
show examples
. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate
the
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on the
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 positive impacts of
teamwork
.
Firstly
,
teamwork
work
 is a perfect way to face difficult projects in modern society. Working together in a
team
 gives another level of confidence to each member
,
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apply
show examples
 because all of them
puts
Wrong verb form
put
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 equal effort
for
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into
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 the same
task
. Another thing is observed that working together like a
team
encourage
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encourages
show examples
 your knowledge, because discussion is an important part of a
team
 on their
task
.
This
 will increase your knowledge by sharing different ideas and information.
For instance
, In our middle school,
me
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I
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 and many friends
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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completed many projects
of
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in
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art
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an art
the art
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 gallery as a
team
,
because
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and because
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 of
this
 we
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
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 more information and confidence. In the end, I would like to add some more points in
the
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apply
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favour of doing
teamwork
. Doing a job in
team
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the team
a team
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make
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makes
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 your social references strong and
built
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builds
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 an ability to tackle difficulties. When you
work
together with
 different
peoples
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people
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 on the same
task
, it makes bonding between all members. Even though when you
had
Wrong verb form
have
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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experience of
teamwork
, only
then
 you will be able to do some difficult
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tasks
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task
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tasks
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 alone.
According to
 the survey of 2022, Subway is the only restaurant famous for its fast service and
work
 efficiency, because their staff
work
 as a good
team
 player to manage things. In conclusion,
teamwork
 is the ideal way to solve difficult tasks, when a single person cannot perform. In our school, it should be compulsory to adopt a habit in their student to
work
 as
team
Add an article
a team
show examples
Submitted by jhonyxxx579 on

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coherence cohesion
Though the essay has a strong structure, try to link ideas more smoothly from one paragraph to the next to enhance flow and coherence. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Work on developing your task response by ensuring that each paragraph directly addresses the prompt. It’s crucial to clearly state your stance on teamwork in the introduction and consistently support this stance throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to clarify their main focus to the reader.
task achievement
Enhance your response to the task by expanding your arguments with more complex reasoning and varied examples. While you provide good examples, further analysis and varied illustrations could enrich your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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