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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that mnay cities in the world are now "one big traffic jam". How true do you think this statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #mnay #cities #world #traffic #jam #measures #government #people #cars
There is no doubt that
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
cars
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing all around the world. There is a belief that
prominent
Correct article usage
a prominent
show examples
 reason for
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 in the cities is
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
cars
. I totally agree with
this
 viewpoint which will be explained in
this
 essay and put forward some practical solutions to reduce
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
 of
cars
. First and foremost,
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 cities around the globe are in the clutches of
traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
show examples
.
In other words
,
traffic
 jams in the city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are
mosty
Correct your spelling
mostly
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 by the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 private
cars
. After
industralisation
Correct your spelling
industrialisation
industrialization
, undeniably,
cars
 become affordable for common
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
.
As a result
, people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 started to use private vehicles for
conveninence
Correct your spelling
convenience
 for travelling even short distances.
In contrast
, bygone days masses
depend
Wrong verb form
depended
show examples
 on non-motorised vehicles
such
 as bicycles which
is
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
caused
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 any
traffic
congenstion
Correct your spelling
congestion
.
Nevertheless
, the are some practical solutions to discourage people from using
cars
 regularly. Government should improve the public
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 service by providing convenient and accessible service for everyone. One of the recommended
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 for developing
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 transportation system is
integration
Add an article
the integration
an integration
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 of different
mode
Fix the agreement mistake
modes
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 of transport
such
 as rail, bus and tube.
For example
, after
integration
Correct article usage
the integration
show examples
 of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 transport system in
Duabi
Correct your spelling
Dubai
,
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 number of private
cars
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined in the city center.
Similarly
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 initiate
to promote
Change the verb form
promoting
show examples
Change preposition
of bycycles
show examples
bycycles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
 and scooters for short travelling and
commute
Wrong verb form
commuting
show examples
 to work. By doing
this
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 in the peak time
such
 as office hours can be reduced. In conclusion,
cars
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 affordable after
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
industrial revolution
Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution
show examples
 is the obvious reason for the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
. Ergo, the integration of public transportation systems and promotion of
bicyles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
bicycle
 and scooters are the best
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to address
this
 issue.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure by using paragraphing effectively. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and be clearly differentiated from others.
coherence cohesion
Work on your introduction and conclusion to ensure they succinctly present your viewpoint and summarize the key arguments made in the body paragraphs, respectively.
coherence cohesion
When providing supporting points, make sure to elaborate on them with examples or further explanation to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure your response directly addresses all parts of the prompt. Clearly state your position and provide comprehensive explanations and examples to support your views.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. This could include data, real-world cases, or hypothetical scenarios that directly relate to your argument.
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