IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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It is often said that public
parks
Use synonyms
 should be replaced with structures
such
Linking Words
 as high-rise
buildings
Use synonyms
 and dense
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
show examples
. I will clearly show why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement since I believe public park plays a vital role
for
Change preposition
in
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 the city.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some people say replacing public
parks
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 residential
areas
Use synonyms
 could be
Correct article usage
a measures
show examples
measures
Fix the agreement mistake
measure
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 of overpopulation. First of all, a sufficient number of residential places can alleviate high-cost housing issues.
For instance
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, business
buildings
Use synonyms
 are usually concentrated in certain
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 of the city. It is undeniable that a number of commuters are likely to stay near
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their workplace. Overpopulation could be tackled by diminishing the cost of residence by establishing more residential
areas
Use synonyms
instead
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 of maintaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
parks
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, green
areas
Use synonyms
 are essential for big cities. First and foremost,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
parks
Use synonyms
 in the city could lead to severe environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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. To be specific, high-rise
buildings
Use synonyms
 and apartment
complexs
Correct your spelling
complexes
complex
 consume the amount of a factor in environmental pollution,
such
Linking Words
 as carbon dioxide. To afford those issues, the
parks
Use synonyms
 are a crucial part.
Moreover
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, public
areas
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 are not only the lungs of countless
buildings
Use synonyms
 but
also
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 citizens.
For example
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, exhausted workers
as well as
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 students can take their time in green
areas
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, and escape from their hectic life.
Also
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, keeping
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
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 between green
areas
Use synonyms
 and productive places could help them to keep healthy mental in their life. In conclusion,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 high density of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 could be measured for converting the park
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
productive
Correct article usage
a productive
show examples
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
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,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 public
areas
Use synonyms
 provide
peaceful
Add an article
a peaceful
show examples
 atmosphere for people.
Hence
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, I disagree with the statement.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure, including distinct paragraphs for the introduction, each of your main points, and your conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples with more specific details to strengthen your argument. Including real-life examples or statistics can make your points more compelling.
General
Pay attention to grammatical errors and typos to improve the professionalism and readability of your essay. Consider using tools or seeking peer review for proofreading.
Task Achievement
Develop both sides of the argument thoroughly, even if you have a strong opinion. Presenting and refuting counterarguments can make your position stronger and more nuanced.
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