Some people believe that technology has increased the social interaction while others are disagree, discuss both and give your own opinion.

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It is often observed that
the
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a
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number of people prefer to communicate
by
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in
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untact
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an untact
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way.
While
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some people say that the developed
technology
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diminishes the communication between the people,
i
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I
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believe advanced
technology
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provides numerous benefits.
To begin
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with, there are several reasons that the negative effects which developed
technology
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has cannot be ignored. First of all,
communicate
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communication
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by technical devices could lead to
significant
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significantly
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decreased face-to-face interaction.
For instance
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, most
of
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apply
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users would prefer more convenient and efficient
way
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ways
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such
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as using chats to spend time with their colleagues or friends. Lack of confronted interaction can ruin not only one's social ability but
also
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a
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the
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precious time that they spend together
in
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apply
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face-to-face.
Moreover
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, it is discriminative for some specific groups. To be specific,
old
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the old
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generation
as well as
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someone who
does
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is
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not skilled at
handle
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handling
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the
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apply
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technology
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can be isolated by social interaction.
On the other hand
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,
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a high-level
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high-level
Correct your spelling
high level
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of
technology
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contributes to
provide
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providing
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a variety of opportunities to interact with others. First and foremost, they allow
to
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us to
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connect with anyone
in
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apply
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anywhere,
such
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as
who
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those who
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are in remote locations.
For example
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,
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an applications
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applications
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application
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called "kakao talk" is one of the most used applications in South Korea. They
provides
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provide
show examples
the functions
such
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as video calls, voice calls and voice messages with
an
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apply
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any payment,
also
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, they
doesn't
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don't
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matter where you are. It is acceptable to anyone who can deal with the functions. In conclusion, it seems convincing that developed
technology
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has negative effects, I believe benefits override the drawbacks.
Hence
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, it is important that accept the improvement
what
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that
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society achieved and we should find
out
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apply
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an appropriate way to use technical devices.
Submitted by yzzknzw on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay in a more organized manner. Use clear paragraph divisions to separate your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will help improve the logical flow and make your essay easier to follow.
Task Response
In your introduction, clearly state the topic and your opinion. This sets the stage for a coherent essay and guides your reader through your points of discussion.
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Support your main points with more detailed examples. Specific examples not only strengthen your argument but also make your essay more engaging and convincing.
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