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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Children of ages 7-11 now spend more time watching television and/or playing video games than before. What are the effects of this on children, family and society? What are the possible solutions to this situation

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In today's digital age,
children
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 aged 7-11 are spending more
time
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 watching television and playing video games.
This
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 change in
behavior
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behaviour
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 has significant effects on teenagers, their families, and society as a whole. First and foremost, excessive
screen
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time
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 can have detrimental effects on
children
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's physical health. Sedentary activities like watching TV and playing video games can contribute to obesity, poor posture, and decreased muscle strength.
Additionally
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, prolonged
screen
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 exposure can strain
children
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's eyes and disrupt their sleep patterns, leading to fatigue and irritability.
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, the increase in
screen
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time
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 among
children
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 has strained parent-child relationships.
Instead
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 of engaging in meaningful interactions with their family members,
children
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 may retreat to screens, resulting in a breakdown of communication and bonding within the family.
This
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 can create feelings of isolation and disconnection among family members. To tackle
this
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 issue, it is crucial for parents, educators, and policymakers to take proactive measures. Parents can set limits on
screen
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time
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, encourage outdoor play, and participate in activities that promote physical and mental well-being. Schools can include lessons on digital literacy and the importance of balancing
screen
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time
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. Policymakers can enact regulations on advertising to
children
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,
promote
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and promote
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 programs that encourage physical activity and social interaction. In conclusion, the growing prevalence of
screen
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time
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 among
children
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 aged 7-11 has wide-ranging effects on parents, families, and society. By acknowledging the negative impacts of excessive
screen
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time
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 and implementing strategies to foster a healthy balance, we can ensure that
children
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 grow up as well-rounded individuals capable of thriving in the digital age.

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider providing more specific examples or data to reinforce your points. This will make your arguments more robust and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, supported by relevant examples. This will strengthen the overall logical structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is clear, with a strong introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively, discussing the effects on children, families, and society, and offering possible solutions.
task achievement
The points made are clear and comprehensive, contributing to a well-rounded discussion on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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