IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The plans below show the layout of the ground floor of a museum in 1990 and in 2010.

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The two plans show changes to the ground floor of a museum from 1990 to 2010. The biggest modification was at the Archaeology gallery, which was divided into 2 parts
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Punctuation problem
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 the Children’s interactive zone and the Poster Display area. It is evident that the entrance was widened and the reception was repositioned to a different angle. Another important change took place at the gift shop, which was expanded to include a cafe. Because of
this
Linking Words
 transformation, the statue was moved from the top-left corner to the centre of the floor by 2010. At the same time, a lift appeared between the gift shop and the Natural history room.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the Natural History Room, Local History Room, Museum office, and the stairs remained the same. Taken as a whole, not many alterations were made; the ground floor was just updated over the period of twenty years.

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coherence cohesion
Add one more clear group of changes, not only one by one.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words like 'while', 'whereas', and 'by contrast'.
task achievement
Give a clearer overview of the main changes in one sentence near the start.
task achievement
Include a few more exact details about where things moved or stayed the same.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence cohesion
Most ideas are in a good order and are easy to follow.
task achievement
You mention the main changes and some parts that did not change.
task achievement
The details are relevant to the plans.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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