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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
this
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 contemporary era, the tendency of living alone is burgeoning in some communities.
Therefore
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, a plethora of individuals tend to spend life in isolation, which causes a lack of interpersonal skills
such
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 as working in teams, socialization, and many more. From my perspective,
this
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 approach has more demerits than merits, which are elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs. Initiating with the best possible reasons, the first and foremost aspect is that advanced gadgets of technology have enchanted a colossal amount of people via distinct types of tools
such
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 as mobile phones, computers, video games, and many more, which render amusement at a large extent.
Therefore
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, rather than engaging in communication with their friends, they tend to talk remotely via social media channels like WhatsApp and Instagram, which makes them introverts.
Consequently
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, the modern generation starts to feel annoyed when they are disturbed by others. To escape from these circumstances, they tend to migrate to separate locations so that no one can disturb them.
Furthermore
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, a long time of isolation can prove detrimental to the mental well-being of the individual.
In other words
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, staying with family or friends not only offers the opportunity for a strong relationship but
also
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 one's can have the feeling of happiness after communicating.
For instance
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, Nordic countries like Denmark and Sweden have initiated giving 1-hour breaks at the workplace to socialize with their colleagues, which allows them to get familiar with each other and their minds get rejuvenated too.
Otherwise
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, one report submitted by the "University of Waterloo" states that a year prior, employees working at organizations usually became the victim of depression
due to
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 the overload of projects.
On the contrary
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, the person who is living alone can concentrate easily, as there will be no nuisance to bear.
To conclude
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,
although
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 the power of concentration can be empowered by accommodating alone, the disadvantages which people are confronting
due to
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 excessive use of social media like stress and mind constraints can not be overlooked.

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Task Achievement
To enhance your score in task achievement, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. While you discuss the reasons and disadvantages of living alone, integrating a more balanced examination of the advantages, as per the question prompt, would provide a more complete response. Consider presenting a distinct paragraph that elaborates on the advantages of living alone to create a more balanced argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, with a clear overall structure. To improve, focus on creating more seamless transitions between your ideas and paragraphs. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help your essay flow more naturally. Additionally, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded upon, rather than introducing new topics within the same paragraph.
Task Achievement
For further improvement in your task response, providing more specific examples to support your arguments can be beneficial. While you provide general observations, incorporating detailed examples or data to back up your claims will strengthen your essay. Consider real-world instances or studies related to living alone that highlight both its advantages and disadvantages.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • individualism
  • solitude
  • self-sufficiency
  • empowerment
  • autonomy
  • loneliness
  • mental well-being
  • financial independence
  • social isolation
  • personal growth
  • economic strain
  • urbanization
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